


where fire and ice collide

by Bootstrap_Paradox



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22289836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bootstrap_Paradox/pseuds/Bootstrap_Paradox
Summary: Something strange is happening in Tadfield. Strange enough to persuade the 17-year-old Adam that it is time to consult the grown-ups. Not his parents, of course, but another happily married couple - Aziraphale and Crowley.   A phone call from a worried anti-christ is enough to turn even the quietest of mornings hectic, but the surprises don't end there. An hour later, two unusual visitors turn up at the doors of the closed bookshops: a blonde young woman, and a tall, skinny man. A man who looks almost exactly like Crowley.  Now the Doctor and Rose are teaming up with Aziraphale and Crowley to investigate the mysterious, indescribable something that awaits them in the depths of Hogback Wood...
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 28
Kudos: 100
Collections: Good Omens Big Bang 2019





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warnings: mentions of suicide, discussions of depression and other mental health issues, mentions of violence

# [prologue]

“Let there be light,” Crowley thought, as his thin, nimble fingers located the light switch and pressed it down. A flickering lamp illuminated the bedroom of a tiny flat above A.Z. Fell’s bookshop. Aziraphale blinked, and looked away from his phone. On his right, Crowley was rubbing his eyes, one foot sticking out of the blanket.

“You’re awake,” Aziraphale commented.

The angel didn’t appreciate sleeping as much as his husband did, but he couldn’t resist keeping him company. He spent the nights listening to audiobooks - in darkness, so as to not disturb Crowley while he slept.

-I have been for the last, ah, I don’t know, - he muttered, his voice lower than usual, groggy, - ten minutes?

-What have you been doing then? - Aziraphale asked, and turned on his side to face him.

-Arguing with myself in my head about whether to open my eyes or fall back asleep. - Crowley replied. - The desire for coffee won.

He leaned in to place a short good morning kiss on Aziraphale’s lips, then half-slithered, half-fell out of the bed, his body still sleep-heavy and stiff. He proceeded to walk across the floor barefoot, the fluffy carpet tickling his feet. The sun hit his face as soon as he drew open the curtains. Judging by the color of the sky, it was six, perhaps six-thirty in the morning. Crowley sighed, stretched his long limbs, and crawled back into bed. When he snuggled up to Aziraphale, he took Crowley’s hand and kissed his fingers - absent-mindedly, not even thinking about it.

-Look at this, Crowley. - The angel said, showing the screen of his phone to the demon. - It’s a cat that plays the piano! - And he grinned, delighted like a child seeing snow for the first time.

Crowley made a show of rolling his eyes, but soon smiled back.

Giving Aziraphale a smartphone for their wedding anniversary had been a questionable idea. He struggled with it at first, unsure of how to use the touchscreen and freaking out every time the device did anything unexpected because he “didn’t want to break it.” Crowley spent many a frustrating evening trying to explain to Aziraphale that no, deleting the app from his phone would not delete his Facebook account (or the entire website of Facebook), and no, he wouldn’t stop seeing the other person on Skype if he turned off his own camera. Crowley lost count of how many times he craved to see the smartphone smashed to pieces under the soles of his snakeskin boots.

However, Aziraphale got the hang of it in the end. Granted, his uses for the device didn’t go much further than calling and, occasionally, reading books that he couldn’t get in a paper version, but it was still useful to him. What he actually went wrong was in introducing Aziraphale to the concept of YouTube.

-She sits on her owner’s lap when he plays the piano. - Aziraphale continued, trying to scroll to the place in the video that he was referencing. - She likes the music! Oh, and yesterday Coleen from the baking lessons sent me a most amusing movie about a chimpanzee watching magic tricks…

-Yes, I believe you, honey. - Crowley said, and kissed Aziraphale’s forehead before leaving the bed again. - Forward it to me on WhatsApp, I’ll watch it later. I need coffee.

-We’re out of milk. - Aziraphale reminded.

-Still? - Crowley paused in the door frame. - I thought you went to the grocery store yesterday.

-I did, but I forgot about milk.

-Ugh. - Crowley bumped his head against the door and regretted it at once. The drama wasn’t worth the bump. - But I told you to buy milk when you were leaving!

-No need to growl, dear boy. - It was Aziraphale’s turn to roll his eyes. – Neither of us is perfect. Do I need to remind you about the dishwasher?

-Guess we’re even. - Crowley replied, and pulled a face.

-Oh, don’t be such a child. - Aziraphale got out of bed as well, walked up to Crowley and put his palm on his cheek. The demon’s expression softened. - I do believe we still have powdered.

-Powdered tastes like chalk. - Crowley whined.

-I’ll make it up to you. - He suggested.

-Yeah? - Crowley smirked. - How?

-You’ll see. - Aziraphale replied, and rewarded Crowley with a rather suggestive look. - Come on. - He tugged on the sleeve of his pajamas. - We’ll miss Good Morning Britain.

And together they proceeded to the kitchen to spend a perfectly ordinary, not at all remarkable, warm and cozy Saturday morning together. Neither of them noticed the heavy, foggy dread that lingered in the air. As far as they were concerned, nothing was wrong.

*

Meanwhile, many miles away in Tadfield, Oxfordshire, four teenagers (and a Jack Russel terrier) were wading through a forest, lighting their way with the camera flashes on their phones.

-I don’t like this. - Said one of them - a tall, lanky boy in dark rectangular glasses. - Don’t like this at all.

The dog – named aptly Dog – produced a brief whine, seemingly in agreement.

-Is there anything you _do_ like, Wensleydale? - Asked Pepper - a girl dressed in a hoodie and heavy combat boots, quite determined to never insult herself with even the slightest hint of femininity.

-Plenty of things. - He shrugged. - Jenna Marbles. Chocolate croissants. Maths.

-Maths. - Snorted Brian. - Jeez, scary to think what would happen to you in school if it wasn’t for us.

Brian was a broad-shouldered, strong-looking lad, with holes in his jeans and streaks of red in his long hair.

-Bit rich coming from a pathetic excuse for a punk… - Wensleydale began.

-Will all of you please shut up? - Exclaimed Adam, and the silence dropped at once.

Adam, who at 17 had grown up to be a tall, slim and handsome young man, wasn’t known for raising his voice. Ever. That’s how all three of his friends knew that this had to be a serious affair.

-Listen. - Adam raised his index finger into the air and froze on the spot. - A noise. Like I’ve told you.

-Oh, for fuck’s sake, Adam. - Pepper glared at him. - Stop making a big deal out of nothing. Is this about us not spending enough time together again? ‘Cause I’ve told you, we can…

-Shh. - Adam hissed, and something twitched in his face, giving Pepper a vivid flashback to the summer of 2019. **That** summer. - I’m not making stuff up, okay? Just listen.

Pepper sighed, but listened in - and so did Brian and Wensleydale.

-There’s a hum. - Adam elaborated. - A very low noise. Almost like a vibration. I can feel it in my bones.

He raised his arm and exposed his wrist, where the hairs were standing up on end.

-Can you feel it?

-Sorry. - Pepper shrugged. - I think it might be a, you know, **you** thing.

-No. - Brian shook his head, his face pale all of a sudden. - No, it’s not an Adam thing. I can feel it too.

He took a few steps forward and stopped.

-And it’s not just a sound either. - He added, and gulped. - It’s like a, an emotion. Dread. It’s dread.

Dog was hearing it too. He stopped, sat down on the ground and pressed his ears back against his head, refusing to take one more step.

-Something very wrong has happened to this place. - Adam whispered, and patted Dog’s head affectionately in an attempt to calm him down.

-What, to Tadfield? - Wensleydale asked.

-No. - Adam shook his head. - To the world.

*

Back in London, a flight of doves took off the gray concrete, chirping and fussing at the inconvenience. The air trembled. A sudden blow of wind swooshed the dust and fallen leaves from the road. Then came a low wheezing, groaning noise, and something blinked into existence, fell into place from nothing - a blue, rectangular box stamped with the word “police”.


	2. 1

# [1]

Rose Tyler opened her eyes in a cold, empty bed and found herself in a dark and even emptier room. Her bedroom. No, she corrected herself, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders and stepping onto the hard floor; not her bedroom, the _Doctor’s_ bedroom. She sighed and walked towards the door, dragging the blanket behind her.

She hated that pattern – waking up alone after falling asleep together - but she would have to get used to that, it seemed. The Doctor barely needed sleep and lacked the patience to wait for her to wake up. “Well”, she thought, fumbling her hand over the wall in search of the light switch, “relationships are all about compromises”. If this was an actual relationship to begin with.

Things had been weird between them recently, and especially weird ever since **that** night. The suspense had dragged on for a while. One day at a time it had progressed: holding hands in public, cuddling in a narrow seat at the TARDIS cinema hall, putting an arm around the other’s waist, kissing each other’s hands, foreheads, cheeks, lips… not at any point did she know where it was going, but neither did she have even the slightest inclination to back off.

She had allowed it to move on, followed his lead. They didn’t talk about it, didn’t even mention it. When people had asked, they would still say that they were friends - best friends, maybe - but still friends. Except with every passing day, that statement resembled a lie more and more. Especially after **that** night. The night when cuddling turned into kissing turned into making out with such raw passion, not holding back anything anymore, turned into making love on his bed, under the dull orange light.

Rose smiled, her mind going back in time momentarily, and slipped into her pajama pants. Magic it was, that moment. Something she had never experienced in her life, not with anyone. It had turned her entire world upside down, and she thought - or, at least, she hoped - that the Doctor felt the same way. And still they didn’t talk about it. Not about that time, and not about any of the subsequent times. Still ignoring it, as if nothing of particular importance had happened.

Now fully dressed in her pajamas (but unable to locate either her socks or her slippers), Rose left the bedroom, popped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, and walked up to the door that led into the console room. She paused, her hand lingering over the door handle. She was expecting to see the Doctor as soon as she would step inside. “Funny”, she thought. She felt awkward, almost apprehensive to greet him each day. As if she was afraid that, any moment now, he would realize his mistake and end her foolish fairytale. It was, on the other hand, yet another reason to enjoy every second of it. She took a deep breath in, tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and opened the door.

-Good morning. - She announced, stepping barefoot on the cold metal surface.

The Doctor was, indeed, in the console room. Specifically, he was underneath the console, tinkering with the wiring. He popped out from under the panel when he heard Rose’s voice, and grinned as he watched her approach.

-Is it already? - He asked, scratching the back of his head absent-mindedly. - Hard to tell with no sunsets or sunrises.

-Did Time Lords even have the concept of morning and evening? - Rose pondered. - You know, since you don’t sleep all that much.

-We did! - He replied, sounding half-amused and half-offended. - We aren’t animals.

-Sure. - She smirked, lowered herself to his level, and leaned in for a kiss.

He returned it, but barely - sheepish, unsure. “Not at all what he was like last night, behind a closed door”, Rose thought.

-Oh. - She paused before standing up. - How long have you been inside the panel? You’ve got dust in your hair.

He blinked in surprise when she reached out her hand and removed a few specks of dust from the top of his head. There they were, looking each other in the eyes, so close to one another, no idea about what to do or say next.

-Tea? - Rose was the one to break the silence.

-Need to finish these repairs first. - He responded, and disappeared inside of the console again.

-Of course you do. - Rose whispered under her breath, and took her usual place at the battered old seat next to the console.

She even had a magazine left there from the last time she had to wait.

-I had a dream about my secondary school today. - Rose mused, flipping the pages without actually looking at them. - I think it was secondary school anyway. Might have been that hollow asteroid warehouse we got stuck in the other week. Anyway. - She shook her head. - My classmates… I used to be friends with this girl, Barbara. Barbie, we called her. Started as a joke. - She smiled. - But she liked it. And in our class, she was the first girl to get a boyfriend. Alan. He was a year above us. We were all impressed. - Rose paused, thinking. - And I remember her talking about him as if he was the sun and the moon for her. Like he was the most important person in the whole wide world. God, she really loved that bloke. - She laughed shortly. - And she was **so** proud of being with him, so… happy. She kept a picture of him in her backpack, and she would show it to just random kids at school and say - that’s my boyfriend. - She paused again, wondering if the Doctor was listening to her at all. - And she would put so much into that word! Like, it really mattered to her, that she could call him that, and that everyone knew. Cause, well, I think it’s cause it made it, you know, serious. Real. And I envied her a little. And sometimes a lot. I also wanted something that was… real. Do you get that?

-Huh? - The Doctor dived from under the console again, eyebrows frowned. - Sorry, what were you saying?

Rose sighed and flashed him a dreamy smile.

-Nothing. - She replied. - Just thinking out loud.

-Well, it’s time for tea! - The Doctor announced, jumping from under the console with surprising grace. - Do we still have those little biscuits with lemon cream? - He circled the console while he talked, checking the buttons and swiping off imaginary dust from its surface. - Fascinating fruits, lemons. The taxonomy is a mess. It was originally a hybrid between a citron and a sour orange, - he continued, flipping some switch, - and the sour orange is itself a hybrid of a pomelo and…

But Rose never got to learn the complete taxonomy of lemons, because a second later she found herself falling to the floor as the room shook violently, went pitch black, and continued to tumble and spin. She hit her knee and reached out into the darkness, trying desperately to latch on to something. A hissing, buzzing noise filled the air. Hugging what seemed to be the base of the railings, Rose heard the Doctor call out to her. She managed to shout “I’m okay!” before the room shook again, and the console exploded into a thousand white sparks. She saw his face in the flash, just for a fraction of a moment – alarmed and confused. He clearly didn’t expect that to happen.

Gradually, the shaking ceased, and a faint yellow glow illuminated the room. Still clutching the railings, Rose sat up and blinked, waiting for her head to stop spinning. Looking around, she noticed six oxygen masks dangling from the ceiling near the console as a whiff of smoke rose up from one of the panels.

-So, - Rose propped herself up by her elbows, - what the hell was that?

-Absolutely no idea. - The Doctor was at the scanner screen, seemingly unscathed, his hair an even wilder mess than usual. - I didn’t do a thing!

-You flipped a switch. - She reminded, preparing to get up.

Half a second later, the Doctor was by her side, helping her up with a soft smile on his face. They lingered, holding each other’s hands, unwilling to be the first to let go.

-I, uh, flipped the switch that re-activated the shields. - The Doctor said quietly, still holding on. - If anything, it should have _prevented_ an incident, not caused it.

-Why did the lights go out? - Rose asked, and slipped out of his grasp at last.

-Power’s gone. - He explained, pointing in the vague direction of the console. - All of it.

-Are we… - Rose began, unsure of whether it was a good guess or not. - Are we in a parallel world again?

She indicated the gas masks that swayed gently in the air.

-Could be. - The Doctor mused.

He returned to the screen.

-We could be anywhere, really. Or nowhere. Impossible to say without a scanner.

-Are we stuck here? - Rose asked, a twinge of anxiety in her voice.

-I hope not. - He replied - and, before she had a chance to be surprised, took off the spot and rushed out of the room.

He returned a few minutes later, holding a small metallic cylinder in between his thumb and index finger, grinning like a lunatic.

-Spare battery! - The Doctor announced, and dropped to the floor. - The hallmark of intelligence is learning from your mistakes. - He used the sonic to remove a segment of the floor and dived under it. - After the last accident, I made sure to prepare a few portable sources of artron energy, straight from the Eye of Harmony, in case it ever happened again. - He crawled out of the hole and closed the gap. - Give it ten, fifteen minutes, maybe. Enough time to have that tea.

-I don’t think the kettle will work. - Rose told him, and brushed some dust off his shoulder. - But we can try. - She added, noticing the disappointment in his expression. - And hey, we do have those biscuits!

*

Soon enough, there was a low, rumbling growl somewhere below the floor, and, one by one, the lights began to turn back on. Rose returned to her seat in the console room, sipping her freshly brewed tea, while the Doctor assessed the damage.

-This is no good. - He concluded, dropping a blackened and still smoking piece of metal on the floor. - I’ll need so many spares...

-But can we leave? - Rose asked.

-Sure. - He confirmed. - In fact, we should do so as soon as possible.

-Woah. - She raised her eyebrows at the suggestion. - Seriously? Don’t you want to go out, see what is out there?

-Not a good idea. - He muttered, his voice vaguely ominous all of a sudden. - If we are in the middle of the void or some pocket dimension, even opening the door might be dangerous. And if it is a parallel world… - He didn’t finish the sentence.

-Could it be the same one? – Rose asked, anticipating his answer but still holding on to a spark of hope.

-Statistically close to impossible. – He responded, extinguishing that spark. - There are billions of parallel worlds out there, Rose. Trillions. Some even say an infinite amount of them.

-So, chances are, - she continued, - that this is a totally different place, not at all like the world we came from? - A wry smirk appeared on her face.

-What are you saying? - The Doctor couldn’t help but smile back.

-The scanner screen just turned on. - Rose giggled. - It says “King’s Cross”. As in, London Underground.

-So it does. - The Doctor agreed, turning the screen towards him. - Still, could be a different King’s Cross. Might be a planet named King’s Cross. Or an asteroid. - He began to type something on the keyboard, and the outside view was replaced by a page full of Gallifreyan text. He spent a few minutes scrolling through it, and as he did, his left eyebrow went up and up and up. - Well that’s just poppycock. - He announced, now frowning at the screen. - This is a galaxy that is pretty much identical to our Milky Way, a solar system essentially identical to your solar system, a planet that has all the characteristics of your Earth…

-But? - Rose prompted.

-But it is less than seven thousand years old. - He finished the sentence. - _And_ it has physical constants that, frankly, shouldn’t allow its atoms to hold together in molecules. It’s bonkers, all of it! Utterly impossible! - He was grinning again. - I love it!

-Does that give you any idea about why we ended up here? - Rose asked, and finished the last sip of her rapidly cooling tea.

-Not really, but there does appear to be a lot of disruption in the fabric of spacetime in this area. - He typed on the keyboard again, squinting at the screen. - If the disruption is strong enough, in certain very particular circumstances - that have nothing to do with the pilot, - he added hastily, - it can create a corridor in between two worlds. Like a crack in reality that a TARDIS can fall through.

-Okay then. - Rose said. - Disruption… not good? - She guessed.

-Not good at all, no.

-And if you don’t fix it, more things might fall through that crack in the future?

-Very possibly. - He nodded, catching on to her chain of logic.

-So it is your duty, as a Time Lord, to go out there and investigate it, then? - She concluded, leaning on the console.

-Spotless reasoning, Rose Tyler. - The Doctor said, and winked at her, making her laugh. - Guess what?

-What?

-We’re going for a walk.

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them opened the main door and stepped cautiously into the bright, baffling, brand new world. Rose had exchanged her pajamas for jeans and a t-shirt, and the Doctor was poking at a screen of a device that looked like a cross between a credit card reader and an over-sized TV remote.

-It’s somewhere close. - He proclaimed, shaking the device. - But we’re still a bit off. We might need to take the bus.

-Careful. - Rose catching the Doctor by the elbow was the only thing that prevented him from walking straight into traffic. - Mind how you go, will ya?

-I think… - He muttered, letting her lead him across the street. - I think the biggest disruption source is… right in the middle of Soho? - He concluded, evidently surprised at his own answer. - Curiouser and curiouser.

-That’s not very far from here. - Rose said, looking around.

-Come on then. Allons-y.

*

An hour and a half later, and they were starting their fourth circle through the streets of Soho. The official explanation for this was “the signal keeps shifting”, but Rose was beginning to suspect that the Doctor was lost and just didn’t want to admit it. She didn’t voice that opinion though. She had made the mistake of doubting his navigation abilities once, and she had no intention of repeating the “I’ll lead you out of this alien jungle with no map or compass” incident.

Eventually, the circles grew tighter and tighter, until Rose discovered that they were essentially walking around the same few buildings.

-Can you tweak the settings or… something? - She asked, looking over his shoulder at the screen.

-I’m trying. - He responded, and gave the device a violent shake. - But the signal is very unstable. It keeps jumping around. Hold on.

He stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of a busy street, and Rose had to drag him away to the sidewalk yet again.

-Why won’t you work?! - He hissed at the device, and produced his sonic screwdriver. - I put you together from scraps, give you more than enough battery to go on, and that’s how you repay me? No. Wait. - He frowned, the sonic buzzing in his hand. - Oh, stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! The constants! - He exclaimed, and a few people turned their heads.

-What about them? - Rose asked.

-They’re bonkers! - He told her. - And I forgot all about them. Now, if I account for the differences in the constants…

He began to push the buttons on the screen at such astonishing speeds, Rose could barely make sense of the colorful blur.

-Voila! - The Doctor proclaimed at last. - That should do it. - And he gave the device another hearty shake.

It beeped, whirred, and, judging by the Doctor’s reaction, began to function correctly.

-We’re half a kilometer off. - He said, turning a hundred and eighty degrees on the spot. - Come on.

“I hope it is a bakery”, Rose thought, drudging along. The only thing she had had the entire morning was plain tea and a single lemon biscuit.

Alas, it was _not_ a bakery. One more circle around the streets, and they ended up in front of the closed doors of a bookshop.

-”I open the shop on most weekdays about 9:30 or perhaps 10AM”. - Rose began to read out loud from the sign. - That’s an interesting policy. - She added, skimming through the rest of the sign. - What time is it?

The Doctor glanced at his blatantly watch-free wrist, then up at the sky, squinting.

-If I’m right about this being August, then ten, maybe eleven in the morning.

-Should be open then. - She tried the door, both pushing and pulling. It wouldn’t budge. - Maybe it’s a bank holiday. Or a Tuesday.

-Well, I’m not going to stand here and wait. - The Doctor responded.

He considered opening the door with his screwdriver, then changed his mind and knocked on it instead. There was no reply. He knocked again, much louder this time. Still no reply.

-Maybe the owner’s not in. - Rose suggested.

But the Doctor ignored her and continued to knock. Following round five of knocking, there was finally some movement behind the closed door. The Doctor knocked yet again, and, in response, someone shouted:

-Yes, okay, I’m coming!

Rose frowned, and glanced at the Doctor. That voice seemed eerily familiar… but evidently, the Doctor didn’t notice.

He certainly did notice when the door clicked open at last and he found himself standing directly opposite… himself.

*

While Aziraphale sat in the kitchen waiting for Crowley to turn into a snake and scare away some irritatingly persistent customers, a tense scene unfolded in the bookshop’s main hall. Two persons stood in front of each other – very different, yet uncannily similar. The Doctor stared blankly at the stranger, and so did Crowley. Rose had to concentrate to stop her jaw from dropping.

-There goes our quiet morning. - Crowley sighed, and pushed his shades up his nose.


	3. 2

# [2]

-Fascinating!

Rose stood aside, watching, wide-eyed, as the Doctor examined his double with the excitement of a five-year-old who just found the Christmas presents hidden at the bottom of the cupboard.

-Haven’t met a look-alike in ages!

He stopped in front of Crowley, almost nose-to-nose with him, and straightened his shoulders. Crowley did the same. With a giggle, Rose realized that they were trying to assess whether one of them was taller than the other.

-Do you mind not pointing at me with that thing? - Crowley asked, his nose wrinkled, and pointed at the sonic screwdriver with a black polish covered nail. - No offense, but I don’t trust you. Not even a tiny bit.

-Oh, neither do I. - The Doctor announced cheerfully, but pocketed the sonic nonetheless. - What are you? - He asked, peering at Crowley from every possible angle. - A clone? An android? A projection of some sort?

-None of the above! - Crowley sounded almost offended. - I’m my own person.

-Not _trying_ to look like me, then?

-I haven’t seen you before in my life! - He snorted.

-He isn’t _exactly_ like you. - Rose pointed out. - He’s ginger, for one…

-Yeah, thanks Rose. - It was the Doctor’s turn to be offended. - I’ve noticed.

-Also, - she added, - he seems, well, older.

-He does? - Evidently, the Doctor couldn’t quite tell. - Seriously doubt it.

-Yeah? - Crowley smirked. - Try me.

-I’m nine hundred and two. - The Doctor announced proudly.

-Cute. - Crowley replied, a sly smile still lingering on his lips. - How about over six thousand?

-Six thousand? - The Doctor repeated, skepticism clear in his voice. - Who the hell are you?

-Exactly. - He nodded.

-Huh?

-A demon. - Crowley elaborated. - I’m a demon. - And, as if to demonstrate, he took off his shades, revealing the yellow, gleaming snake eyes.

-A demon? - The Doctor repeated, in a rather high-pitched voice. - Seriously?

-And you?

-I’m a Time Lord. - He responded. - Planet Gallifrey, constellation of Kasterborous.

-An alien, then? From… outer space? - Crowley said, waving his hands around for emphasis. - Are you fucking kidding me?

The Doctor froze on the spot, staring at Crowley. Nearby, Rose tried her best, but ended up bursting into a laugh anyway.

-Sorry. - She muttered in between laughing fits. - This is like watching “It Takes Two”.

In response, both rewarded her with a rather judgmental look.

-So. - The Doctor said, frowning. - What are we going to do about this?

The following awkward silence was interrupted by the sound of a voice, coming from somewhere nearby.

-Crowley? - The voice called out. - I can hear strangers. What’s going on?

-Damn it. - Crowley muttered, and pressed his hand to his forehead. - I told him to stay in the kitchen!

A minute later, Aziraphale - dressed in his usual suit and holding a few newspaper pages - walked into the room and gasped.

-Goodness me. - He mumbled, approaching the Doctor and looking him up and down, awe-struck. - This is most peculiar.

-Step away from him. - Crowley cautioned, and immediately positioned himself between his husband and the perceived threat. - I’ve no idea who they are and what they want.

-Don’t be rude, dear boy. - Aziraphale tutted. - This is no way to treat a guest! I bet you didn’t even ask them for their names.

-He didn’t. - The Doctor flashed him a friendly smile. - I’m the Doctor, - he said, and extended his hand for a handshake which Aziraphale accepted, - and this is my Rose. My friend Rose, I mean. – He corrected himself, blushing slightly.

-Hi. – Rose waved meekly at Aziraphale, trying her best at a similarly amicable smile.

Still “friend” then, even after that whole monologue in the TARDIS… That stung a little.

-Pleasure to make your acquaintance. - The angel replied. - My name is…

-Don’t. - Crowley hissed at him. - They might be dangerous!

Aziraphale sighed, but didn’t finish the sentence.

-Could we perhaps discuss this calmly over a cup of tea? - He asked.

-I’d love to. - Rose agreed, and the Doctor nodded.

Crowley was left to just roll his eyes.

-This way. Wipe your feet at the stairs. Oh, and we’re out of milk. - He muttered, and let Aziraphale lead the strangers into the guest room behind the counter.

*

The guest room contained two whole couches and several armchairs, but Crowley insisted on the round table which stood next to the broad and bright windows. He stood up at the opposite end, towering above the teacups and plates like a detective in an interrogation room, while the Doctor and Rose lounged in the chairs.

Rose leaned back and took a deep breath in. The vintage wallpaper and fluffy carpets reminded her of her grandmother’s flat - back in her own world, in Leeds. Grandma too had furniture which seemed century-old to little Rose, yet remained in crisp condition for her entire childhood. She smiled at the memory. In her travels, Rose often saw glimpses of home even in the most remote corners of the Universe. And this place… it even smelled like grandma’s house! Baked goods and washing soap, with just a hint of dried lavender.

-Help yourself. - Aziraphale placed another plate in front of them, and Rose couldn’t help but dig in immediately.

-It’s delicious. - Rose managed to say, her mouth full of lemon drizzle cake.

-You really think so? - He asked, and she nodded, taking another bite. - Oh, thank you, dear! We learned to make that last week, and mine is not as fluffy as I’d wished, but…

He stopped, noticing the glare that was emanating from Crowley.

-Shush. - The demon said, and gestured for him to sit down in one of the armchairs.

Rose quite liked this blond bloke. He gave the impression of a kindly gay uncle who could be awkward at family gatherings but was otherwise nice and helpful and always had gifts for the kids. She felt like she could trust him - but she wasn’t so sure about the ginger one.

-Let’s see if the tea tastes good in this world. - The Doctor commented, taking a sip. - Not bad. - He concluded, and proceeded to take a piece of the cake for himself. - So, have you been living here long?

-Quiet. - Crowley snapped, in his best (as in, rather lousy) impression of a bad cop. - I’m asking the questions here.

-Okay. - The Doctor smiled. - Could you hurry up then and start asking those questions?

-That _is_ a question.

-Well could you, then?

-I’m… - Crowley paused and sighed.

-Your tea is getting cold. - The Doctor pointed out, helpfully.

And Rose had to bite down on the cake to suppress a giggle.

-Who are you? - Crowley asked at last.

-I think I’ve told you already. - The Doctor responded. - I’m the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler, and an hour ago…

-…several hours. - Rose corrected, but was ignored.

-…I landed my spaceship - which can also travel in time, by the way - in the general area of this city.

-King’s Cross. - Rose added. - We landed near King’s Cross.

-On accident. - The Doctor continued. - I’m not completely sure what happened, but my working hypothesis is that we fell through a distortion in the fabric of spacetime and into a parallel world, which is not parallel to you, I guess, but just your normal world. And after quickly whipping up a handy-dandy spacetime distortion detector from some spare junk I had laying around, - he brandished the detector, - I traced the source to your very shop. And that’s what brought us to your doorstep, gentlemen.

-And you expect me to believe all that? - Crowley chuckled.

-Yeah. - The Doctor said. - Why not? Oh, sorry, that’s another question, isn’t it? And that one, I suppose.

He glanced at Rose, and she saw the cheeky grin - not on his face, but in his eyes.

-Listen. - Crowley said, leaning on the table. - I don’t know what kind of game you two are playing, and, frankly, I don’t really care. What I want you to know is that you picked the wrong person to mess with, punks.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the word ‘punks’.

-I can assure you, - he said, - Mr…

-Not your damn business.

-Very well. - The Doctor carried on. - I can assure you that we have no intention of messing with anyone.

-What are you doing here, then? - Crowley snapped, slamming his hands on the table so hard, it made the teacups jump up a little.

-Crowley! - Aziraphale exclaimed, rising from his seat immediately. - Calm down, will you? This is my best china set! I must apologize for my husband’s behaviour. - He added, walking over to his side and putting a hand on his shoulder. - He’s not quite himself when he is worried.

-Don’t tell them we’re married, angel! - Crowley protested. - We can’t give them valuable information. They might use it against us!

-Oh, spare me. - Aziraphale laughed. - As if that would be difficult to figure out. Especially after you called me “angel”.

-Well you are one. - Crowley mumbled, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

Rose covered her mouth with her hand, hiding yet another giggle. Looking over at the blond one, who now held his hands in front of himself, she noticed a beautifully crafted snake band on the ring finger of his left hand. Meanwhile, the ginger one had what looked like a little halo around his right ring finger. “Traditionalist and a trend-setter”, she thought to herself. “Must be an interesting couple”.

-An angel and a demon. - The Doctor said, to which Aziraphale smiled and Crowley looked away. - That is rather poetic.

-Can you excuse us for a moment? - Crowley muttered, and dragged his husband away before he had a chance to hear the Doctor reply with “sure”.

They stood with their backs to the table and talked to each other in hushed whispers which were blatantly loud enough to be heard even by Rose, let alone the Doctor with his Time Lord super-hearing.

-Should we turn away? - Rose asked in an actual whisper. - Pretend like we aren’t listening?

The Doctor pulled a “how should I know?” face, and sipped the last of his tea.

-Don’t be so nice to them! - Crowley said. - We don’t know who they are, and they’re clearly lying through their teeth.

-What makes you so sure? - Aziraphale asked. - I can’t sense any bad intentions. Just kindness, and curiosity. And a lot of love.

Hearing that sent shivers down Rose’s spine.

-Your senses aren’t always right. - Crowley disagreed.

-Give me one example.

Crowley pouted.

-What if Hell had sent them? - He suggested. - Or Heaven. To, uh, I, well, I don’t know, to spy on us or something? Or as some sort of a practical joke?

-Oh, come off it, Crowley. - Aziraphale shook his head. - Neither of the head offices has the imagination to construct something as elaborate as this, and, frankly, I don’t think they care enough to put in the effort. They take the reports, sure, but we both know it’s just a formality. They gave up on us a long time ago.

-It could still be something bad. - Crowley insisted.

-It could. - Aziraphale agreed unexpectedly. - But can’t you give them the benefit of the doubt? For now, at least.

Crowley sighed, turned around, and walked back to the table. He lingered over it, then, after some consideration, pulled out the chair and took a seat.

-You’re an alien. - He said, staring at the Doctor with a mix of apprehension and curiosity.

-Yep. - The Doctor confirmed.

-And you travel in space and time.

-Indeed.

-And you arrived here by accident from a parallel world?

-That’s my guess for now.

-Blimey. - The corner of Crowley’s mouth went up in a smile. - That’s one rubbish cover story.

-Which is exactly why you should believe us. - The Doctor said. - Listen, I can see you are smart, and capable, and want to protect your home and your loved ones. I get it. I would be on the fence too, if I were in your shoes. But. - He continued, slowly getting up. - You’re worried. And not just about us being here, it’s something else. Something happened here, fairly recently, I’m guessing. Something you’ve never dealt with before. And it bothers you, because you know you’re out of your depth on this, and you aren’t sure. Aren’t sure whether it’s dangerous. Aren’t sure if you can protect him if it is. So. - He paused, his face softening. - Will you let us help you?

Crowley stared at him from below, eyebrows frowned slightly, thinking. Then he gave him a single nod.

-Splendid! - The Doctor’s lips stretched out in a wide grin at once. - _Now_ can we learn your names?

-I’m Crowley. - The demon introduced himself at last. - That’s Aziraphale. - The angel gave them a tiny wave. - And everything was just fine before you showed up…

-I can sense an ‘except’. - The Doctor said.

-Except, - Crowley responded, - we got a call about an hour ago.

-A call. - The Doctor repeated, and lowered himself back into the seat. - Well then. - He glanced sideways and exchanged a knowing look with Rose. - You should tell me all about it.

*

The clock kept ticking, the tea kept vanishing from the pot, and the Doctor sat back, hands behind his head, while he listened to Aziraphale give a brief summary of the last six thousand years. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t comment on any of it; just tapped his fingers on the table, punctuating the speech with occasional nods. Meanwhile, Crowley had to play conductor. He sat on the back of the sofa, gesturing at his husband to speed up, or skip some irrelevant bits, or elaborate on a point. Rose found it strangely adorable.

-And this morning, - Aziraphale continued, a little bit out of breath, - young Adam called our landline - funny, you know, - he digressed, - I don’t think we’ve ever given him the number, but that’s quite irrelevant.

-They found something. - Crowley took over. - In the forest where they live, in Tadfield. He wasn’t very good at describing it. Said “you have to feel it”.

-That sounds like something more up my alley. - The Doctor said.

He was about to start asking some questions, when Rose tugged him by the sleeve.

-Now you’ll have to excuse us. - He smiled, and followed her to the other end of the room.

-Do you believe them? - Judging by Rose’s expression, it was her turn to be on the fence.

-Why wouldn’t I? - He frowned.

-Well, you know. - She shrugged. - God, Eden, Heaven, Hell, Anti-Christ. I thought you were the opposite of religious.

-Skepticism is requiring evidence to substantiate claims. - The Doctor responded. - Not denying the obvious in the face of solid facts. I trust my instruments, and I trust my own brain to tell an actual miracle from a magic trick. - He elaborated. - It’s a parallel world, remember? I was once trapped in a pocket universe without time. I don’t see why this, - he gestured around himself, - would not be possible. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

-Sherlock Holmes? - Rose guessed.

-No. - The Doctor shook his head. - Me. My mate Arthur liked it, asked if he could use it. Funny thing is, he was the opposite of skeptic. - He smiled. - Absolutely refused to accept that Harry Houdini wasn’t an actual magician. Also believed in fairies. Though that is partially my fault. Anyway. - He turned around on the spot all of a sudden. - Back to the important stuff.

Together, the Doctor and Rose walked back towards the table. Now the four of them sat right in front of each other - Rose opposite Aziraphale, and the Doctor opposite Crowley.

-Heaven, Hell, and Earth then. - The Doctor repeated, and got a nod from Crowley.

-Alien, time travel, and parallel universes. - Crowley retaliated. - And mysterious objects in a dark forest. Oh well. At least we have experience with apocalypse.

-Me too. - Rose said. - And he, - she glanced at the Doctor, - pretty much has a Ph.D. in it.

-Among other things. - He smiled. - So, this kid, Adam. When he called you, was it an excited “I found something in the forest”, or a worried “I found something in the forest”?

-Worried. - Crowley replied. - And if the actual Anti-Christ with the power to warp reality at will is worried, that should make anyone beyond concerned.

-Good thing we’re here then. - The Doctor remained immune to the ominous phrasing. - And if it really is significant, that would explain why the TARDIS - our ship - ended up here. There’s still one problem though. - He put his hand in the pocket of his coat and somehow extruded the detector which was way too big to fit into the pocket. - The signal led us here, and not to a village in Oxfordshire. Why?

There was a moment of silence, broken by Aziraphale.

-That device of yours, - he began, pointing at the detector, - it might be misleading you. It needs to be calibrated appropriately. Different world, different rules.

-How do _you_ know? - Crowley said, glancing sideways at the angel.

-I read books. - He responded, slightly miffed. - InterWorld was a fascinating read.

-Good guess. - The Doctor complimented. - But I did calibrate it for local constants, and we still ended up here.

-Let’s eliminate the impossible then. - Rose suggested.

-Mechanical fault. - Crowley guessed. - Data reading error. Wrong spacetime distortion thing. This has been a trap all along. We’re all asleep or hallucinating. The…

-That’s enough impossible, - the Doctor interrupted, - thank you.

He laid the detector on the table and began pushing buttons.

-This might take a while. - Rose said. - Can I help you clean the table? - She asked, looking at Aziraphale.

-Oh, no need, my dear. - The angel smiled - and, with a wave of his hand, miracled the table clean and tidy.

-Woah. - The Doctor exclaimed, as the detector produced a high-pitched whir and a few dings. - The reading just went through the roof! - He looked up from the screen and at the table. - Have you…

Aziraphale nodded.

-I believe you have just discovered the source of your signal. - He said.

-Possibly. – The Doctor quickly returned to poking the device. - Let’s see if I can tune it to something else.

He spent the next ten minutes changing the settings over and over again, and growing increasingly frustrated.

-Nope. - He announced at last, and dropped the heavy thing behind his back.

It fell to the floor and shattered into a myriad of tiny pieces. Crowley rewarded him with a glare.

-Doctor! - Rose hissed through gritted teeth. - Don’t litter in other people’s homes!

-Quite all right. - Aziraphale sighed, and made another swiping gesture. - Head office stopped keeping count of my miracles anyway.

-The bad news is, - the Doctor said, getting up, - I won’t be able to track it after all. But the good news is that we know where to look already!

-Are we going to that Tadfield place? - Rose asked.

-We’re going to that Tadfield place. - He confirmed.

They were already at the door when the Doctor turned around.

-Where is it, again? Have a map maybe? And bus schedules?

-Hold on a second. - Crowley interjected, getting up as well. - You aren’t going anywhere without us. I’m not letting you out of my sight.

-He’ll drive. - Aziraphale said with a sigh. - I hope you have health insurance.

Crowley chose to ignore the last remark.


	4. 3

# [3]

The car trip that followed was the longest three hours in Rose’s life - and she had sat through countless mind-numbingly boring classes in secondary school. Classes so dull, reading the telephone book seemed exciting in comparison. Still, she would gladly take Mr. Simeon’s double history over this. In class, you had the option of taking the last row seat and napping through half of it, or asking to go to the loo if it got too tedious to bear. There was no excusing from the back seat of Crowley’s Bentley.

-…but then it turned out, unsurprisingly, - the Doctor continued with little to no pauses between phrases, - that they weren’t ghosts at all, but incorporeal alien creatures - the Gelth, they called themselves. And Charles Dickens said… - you’re speeding again.

Crowley wasn’t even sighing anymore, just silently ignoring everything the Doctor said.

-And now you’re just speeding up instead of slowing down. - The Doctor commented.

-Yeah, and what of it? - Crowley inquired.

The Doctor paused for a second, considering whether to start another fight, but then another car showed up on the road and Crowley was forced to slow down.

-Anyway, - the Doctor exclaimed cheerfully, - where was I? Oh yes, Charles Dickens.

The Doctor wasn’t used to waiting for anything. In his world, he was spared the necessity of taking the long route, since he could zip around the universe in seconds, barring accidents or extraordinary circumstances. Therefore, he had never developed the patience needed for conventional travel. And he was especially unequipped for sitting in one spot for an extended period of time while doing absolutely nothing.

As a result, he had spent the last two hours either monologuing about his adventures or criticizing Crowley’s driving skills. Aziraphale found the prospect of adventure stories exciting, but quickly lost interest. Alas, the Doctor didn’t harbor much talent in the field of storytelling. His tales mostly consisted of him describing the sequence of events (which was difficult to follow even in a natural progression, let alone with him jumping from one part to another) and adding “it’s hard to describe, you had to be there” while elbowing Rose and asking her to confirm that it was true.

He didn’t seem to realize that Aziraphale’s “indeed” and “how fascinating” were seeping with sarcasm, but then again, he also didn’t seem to care whether anyone was actually listening. Crowley ignored the monologues completely. Rose spent the time staring out of the window and pondering crucial questions, such as “why do I love this idiot an absurd amount?” and “how do I make him stop?” She didn’t come up with an answer for either of them.

When they finally arrived in Tadfield - after being stuck in front of one traffic light for half an hour and Crowley threatening to kick the Doctor out of the car for incessant criticism - Rose was thankful for everything. The fresh air, the bleak gray sky above her head, and, most of all, the ability to stretch her legs. She took a minute to appreciate it, then turned on the Time Lord.

-Was that your usual level of annoying, - she asked, taking him by the elbow as he followed Crowley’s lead, - or were you trying extra hard?

-What did I do? - He retorted, miffed.

-Oh, I don’t know. - Rose shrugged. - Almost got thrown out to the highway, maybe?

-I was pointing out blatant rule violations. – The Doctor protested. – He’s _terrible_ at driving. He’s like the evil me.

-He’s not the only bad driver. – She responded. – And he doesn’t seem evil either.

-Oh well. I mean… - He began, then stopped.

-Not all things are black and white. – Rose chuckled. – How inconvenient. Looks like you were the evil one this time.

-But he was putting us all in danger! - The Doctor protested. - I’m not going to sit back and relax while he crosses the double line. Car crashes are the most common cause of death for young people.

-Actually, - Aziraphale slowed down to catch up with them, - it’s suicide. And I wouldn’t bother with Crowley’s driving, if I were you. I’ve been nagging him about it for more than half a century. Didn’t even make a dent.

-Neither did I, on that car! - Crowley shouted from somewhere far ahead.

It wasn’t clear how he was hearing any of this.

-You hit a person once! - Aziraphale shouted back. - And it also blew up later that week. Quite literally!

But Crowley ignored it.

-See? - The Doctor raised an eyebrow at Rose. - Those are the consequences of his carelessness.

-At least he got us to the right place. - She pointed out. - On the first attempt.

And, miraculously, that shut him up. For a while, at least.

Tadfield turned out to be a cute and scenic little village. It reminded Rose of the bizarre low-budget soap operas that were always on when she would come back from school. One-family houses with neatly groomed lawns, kids zooming around on bicycles, and old ladies chatting over afternoon tea and scones. It should have felt calm, familiar, comforting. It should have put you ever so slightly to sleep. But instead, Rose noticed, the air felt dense and heavy, buzzing with something sinister, and you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder.

-Can you feel it? - She whispered to the Doctor, and he gave her a hasty nod.

-Krop Tor. - He added, and she nodded back.

That’s what it was. A low, steady charge of dread.

Crowley and Aziraphale were sensing it too. While they walked the streets in the direction of Adam’s house, Crowley kept glancing left and right, circling Aziraphale and squinting at every tiny glimpse of a movement. He was in full alert mode, ready to spring to action at the slightest sign of danger. But instead of some monster jumping out of a lilac grove, they were promptly ambushed by the Them.

-Children! - A fraction of a second, and Aziraphale’s face lit up with the brightest grin you’ve ever seen.

It made Crowley smile just looking at him.

Then came excited shrieks, and three teenagers flocked to Aziraphale’s outstretched arms. Crowley, meanwhile, stood aside, trying to pretend that he didn’t care for such public displays of affection - though you couldn’t help but notice how his expression softened.

-You have all grown up so much! - Aziraphale chirped. - Goodness, how fast do you humans grow? It’s only been a couple of months.

All three beamed, not at all awkward or embarrassed. Wensleydale - who was, by far, the tallest of the bunch - looked particularly proud.

-Woah. - Brian exclaimed, finally noticing the other half of the party. - What the living hell?!

The Doctor, who stayed away from the celebration, waved at the kids, assuming a friendly expression.

-Hello. - He said, and took a few steps forward. - Yes, I am real, and yes, it’s weird for me too.

-Is he like, your twin, or something? - Brian kept turning his attention from Crowley to the Doctor then back to Crowley. - Can demons have siblings?

-He’s not my twin. - Crowley replied, glancing at the Doctor with a somewhat displeased frown. – A complete stranger. And an alien, apparently.

-Alien? - Wensleydale asked. - No kidding?

-No kidding. - The Doctor smiled. - Hello again. I’m the Doctor, and this is Rose.

-Hi. - She waved as well, approaching the crowd.

The Doctor proceeded to shake hands with the excited and bemused Pepper, Brian, and Wensleydale. The latter seemed particularly impressed.

-An alien hand. - He muttered, staring at the Doctor like he was the coolest thing he had ever seen.

-Any particular reason you look like Crowley? - Pepper inquired, employing her journalist voice.

-Not that I know of, no. - The Doctor shook his head. - Accidental look-alikes. Happens more often than you think.

-Are you an alien too? - Wensleydale asked, looking at Rose.

-No. - She laughed. - Nah, I’m all human.

-But she’s not of this world either.

Seven heads turned in unison towards the source of the sound. Adam Young - pale, stone-faced, and uncharacteristically quiet - stood aside, silently watching the scene unfold. A sudden spur of cold wind blew and ruffled his curly hair. He shivered, raised the collar of his coat, and ambled towards the group, hands in his pockets. Dog, who had stayed near the boy’s leg so far, followed.

-The cool kid. - Rose whispered, and the Doctor raised an eyebrow, impressed.

Apprehensive, but impressed.

-Hello, puppy. – The Doctor addressed the Dog first, but his offer of a pet on the head was refused. -Your choice. – He shrugged. - You’re the Anti-Christ, I presume. - The Doctor said, now facing the boy and extending his arm forward.

-Adam. - He responded, and considered the proposition before extracting his hand from his coat pocket and accepting the handshake. - Where are you from, and why can’t I _see_ you?

-Parallel universe. - Rose explained.

-Right. - He looked her up and down, as if she was an ancient marble statue in a museum. - Did you come here on purpose?

-No. - The Doctor said, just as Rose was opening her mouth to reply.

She appeared captivated by the young man.

-Doesn’t mean the two things aren’t connected though. - The Doctor continued. - You don’t end up in a parallel universe every day.

-Do you believe them? - Adam asked, turning to Crowley and Aziraphale.

-Barely. - Crowley told him.

-I do. - Aziraphale shrugged.

-When did you become so trusting all of a sudden? - Crowley asked, and pushed his sunglasses up his nose.

-Exactly. - Aziraphale replied. - I can tell they have good intentions.

-I can’t. - Adam said.

Immediately, all eyes were on the Doctor and Rose, who stayed still, trying their best to look innocent.

-But then again, - Adam continued, staring off into the distance, - I’ve only known them for five minutes.

-It’s getting chilly. - Aziraphale interrupted, in an attempt to diffuse the tension. - Perhaps we should go somewhere and discuss this situation over a warm drink.

-No time. - Adam disagreed. - It’s getting worse. The dread, it’s no longer confined to the forest. It’s enveloping the entire village.

-The dread? - The Doctor repeated.

-It’s everywhere now. - Adam confirmed.

-What exactly did you find in the forest?

-It’s hard to explain. - Pepper spoke up. - You’ll have to see it for yourself.

-Basically, - Brian attempted, - there’s like a chunk of space in there where reality turned inside out. Kinda. - He concluded.

-Huh. - The Doctor scratched the back of his head. - Have you tried stepping into it?

-Yeah. - Pepper beamed. - It’s _wild_!

-You shouldn’t have. - Aziraphale tutted.

-You walk into it, - Pepper ignored him, - and then, _wham_ , you end up at the other side.

-Any idea what that might be? - Rose asked.

-Could be many things. - The Doctor has already started pacing up and down the street. - A pocket universe? A locally generated distortion field? A perception-altering effect of some sort, maybe. - He ruffled his hair. - Either way, I need to see it first.

-Very well. Dog. – Adam looked at the fluffy creature. – Go home.

Dog whined in protest.

-I said, go home. – Adam repeated calmly, and this time, Dog obeyed. – Okay. Follow me then. – He announced.

And everyone followed.

*

A light fog descended on Tadfield as the group made their way to Hogback Woods. It blended in with the cloudy sky, and made the air dance and shimmer in the low sunlight. Rose tugged at her sleeves and buttoned her jacket up to the collar.

-It’s very cold for August. - She commented, and both Brian and Pepper nodded in agreement.

-It started yesterday. - Pepper explained, stepping over a smushed apple that someone left on the road. - We woke up, went outside, and it was freezing. Frost on the grass, vapor coming out of your mouth, the whole winter shebang. That’s when we started looking for clues.

-You do that often? - Rose inquired. - Are you like… paranormal investigators?

Pepper paused, unsure whether she could say it.

-Oh, it won’t weird me out. - Rose assured her. - Trust me, my life is way crazier. - She briefly looked over her shoulder, where the Doctor, Crowley, and Aziraphale were walking together. - I won’t judge.

-We dabble. - Pepper said humbly. - Brian and I.

-What you’re doing, - Wensleydale interrupted, - is falling victim to the tricks and imperfections of human perception and psychology - and indulging the delusions and ignorance of others with that YouTube channel of yours.

-Oh for fuck’s sake, Wensley, - Pepper snapped, - you live next to a witch, and your best friend almost ended the world that one time. Skepticism must have its limits.

-You got scared the most this morning. - Brian added, making Rose stifle a giggle.

Wensleydale didn’t reply and sped up, catching up with Adam instead.

-Tell me about your crazy life, then. - Pepper said, and - before Rose had a chance to reply - added: - Cool jacket.

-Thanks. - Rose muttered, and noticed Brian mouth something to Pepper, something she couldn’t read.

It was “Stop it”.

-They are getting along nicely. - Crowley pointed out, referring to Rose chatting happily with the Them.

-Sorry? - The Doctor’s heavy thought process didn’t allow for paying attention to anyone else talking.

-Your girl and the kids. - He explained. - They seem really friendly.

-Well. - The Doctor said. - She’s twenty-something. Closer to their age range.

Crowley whistled.

-Twenty-something and nine hundred… quite an age gap you have then. - He pointed out. - Not that I’m judging. Fully consenting adults, and all that.

-Ah. - The Doctor said, staring into the distance and already stumbling over words. - We’re, uh, she’s not my…

And he went quiet without finishing the sentence.

-Yeah, sure. - Crowley smirked. The look and the stumbling reminded him strongly of himself. - Not our business anyway, right, Aziraphale?

-Quite. - The angel replied, and exchanged knowing “been there, done that” looks with his husband.

Aziraphale could sense love, so he didn’t need verbal confirmation from either of their new acquaintances to understand exactly what they felt towards each other.

The three of them spent the rest of the walk in respectful silence.

The fog grew denser and the air turned colder as they entered the forest and ventured far into its depths. The Them were having no problems finding their way - they’d played in Hogback Woods for over a decade, and they could navigate it even in complete darkness. They hopped over tree trunks and waded through bushes, seemingly unaffected by the dreary setting. Everyone, even Wensleydale, stepped broadly and confidently. They were all scared, of course they were - but they would be damned if they showed it. Especially Pepper, and especially in front of a cute girl.

-There. - Brian announced, stopping at the edge of a shallow ravine. - About three hundred feet from here. See? - He pointed vaguely towards what looked like a perfectly ordinary patch of forest.

-Not yet. - The Doctor replied, and, without hesitation, walked in the indicated direction.

He kept walking, faster at first, then with more caution, until…

-Woah! - Rose exclaimed.

-Woah indeed. - Aziraphale repeated.

One second, the Doctor was standing on an empty spot on this side of the ravine - and then, suddenly, he was on the other one, a good ten meters away from the edge.

-It’s all good! - He shouted from his new spot, waving at Rose. - Probably works in… - he stepped back -…both directions. - He finished the sentence from the previous place, beaming. - Ooh, dizzy. - He leaned on the nearby tree. - Like a rollercoaster.

-What the Heaven? - Crowley approached the distortion, his arm stretched out in front of him. - It’s like… - He poked and prodded the air, and it wobbled like a big blob of transparent jell-o. - A bubble of some sort.

-It’s big. - The Doctor was exploring the site, examining it from all angles. - And it’s leaking energy. - He added, pointing his screwdriver at the distortion. - Buckets of it. Positively oozing with energy juice.

-Eww. - Pepper grimaced. - Energy juice.

Brian was now amusing himself, hopping from one point in the distortion to another.

-Is this dangerous? - He asked, after his third hop.

-Well, you haven’t dropped dead yet. - The Doctor shrugged instead of a solid reply. - Let me know if you get a nosebleed. Or if your limbs change length.

Wensleydale stepped even further away from the shimmering air, but it only seemed to encourage Brian.

-Extraordinary! - Aziraphale commented, peering at the distortion from afar. - Quite extraordinary. Never seen anything like it. Have you ever, Crowley, dear?

The demon shook his head.

-Freaky sci-fi… things - not my specialty. - He replied.

-Does it go far in a vertical direction? - Rose pondered, following the Doctor’s footsteps.

-Good question! - The Doctor said. - See any climbing-appropriate trees?

-That one. - Brian pointed.

And soon, the Doctor was climbing a tree.

-I don’t like it. - Crowley said, wrinkling his nose. - Two strange occurrences on the same day, and with the four of you involved… seems staged.

-We didn’t do it, okay? - Pepper snorted. - I mean, I wish I knew how to. Excellent party trick.

She poked and pierced the distortion with her finger, and it poked out a good twenty meters away from her.

-That’s not what I meant. - Crowley told her. - I mean that this is worrying. Serious.

-Careful! - Rose shouted, as the Doctor was about to set foot on a dried-out branch.

-And he seems to be having _too_ much fun. - Crowley added in a whisper, glancing at the Doctor.

-So is Brian. - Pepper pointed out.

Brian was currently occupied with throwing pebbles and pine cones at the distortion, in an attempt to hit Wensleydale from behind.

-Fair enough. - Crowley sighed. - But I’m still keeping watch.

While Crowley and Aziraphale stood aside, the Doctor and Rose (as well as Pepper and Brian) continued to explore the anomaly.

-Please don’t fall from there! - Rose shouted, as another branch cracked under the Doctor’s rubber soles.

He was now quite high up, and still climbing.

-It goes up and up. - He shouted back. - I’m not sure I will reach the top.

He kept tapping the air with his palm, even though it now took considerable agility to stretch all the way from the tree to the shimmering bubble.

-It’s different too. - He added, and pulled out the sonic for another measurement. - Thinner, but also… sticky. It’s pulling things in.

-Like a black hole? - Brian asked.

-No. - The Doctor shouted back. - Absolutely nothing like a black hole. It’s sucking in energy, not mass.

-But you said it was leaking energy! - Rose shook her head, eyebrows frowned. - Are you making stuff up on the go?

-Another kind of energy. - He explained, and stopped climbing. - It’s sucking in heat, and leaking something else.

-So, it’s converting the energy. - Pepper suggested. - Turning heat into not heat.

-Possibly. - The Doctor replied. - Also…

He reached into his pocket again, and took out a glass marble. He dropped it above the distortion, and the marble plummeted. Everything seemed normal, but just before it was about to hit the ground, it bounced and began to rise up into the air. It made Pepper and Brian laugh with delight.

-It’s internally stable. - The Doctor explained, beginning his descent back to the ground. - To an extent. - He added, when the marble lost momentum and dropped into dry leaves at last.

-Why aren’t we bouncing? - Brian tried his best to force his way inside the distorted bubble, but it kept pushing him out in all directions.

-You’re too heavy. - The Doctor replied, now half-way down. - No offense. Any human would be too heavy to float in it like that. A squirrel, on the other hand…

-No. - Pepper said at once, looking at Brian. - You will _not_ throw a squirrel in there.

-Wasn’t going to. - The boy pouted.

He only considered asking Adam to bring Dog. How would he even catch a squirrel?

-Well? - Crowley saw the Doctor jump down to the ground and wipe his hands on the side of his coat. - Your verdict?

-It’s a reality bump. - The Doctor announced cheerfully. - No, not bump. Dent? Notch? Nick? Rose, help me out here, I’m running out of synonyms.

-You’re not very good at inventing scientific terms. - She said.

-I’m not inventing, I’m translating. - He retorted. - Roughly. From Gallifreyan.

-Space bash! - Brian suggested, and the Doctor seemed satisfied.

-Space _time_ bash. - He corrected. - Yeah, that’s what it is. A spacetime bash. I like it. Good job, Brian, have a marble.

And he put a little glass sphere into the baffled boy’s palm.

-It’s evil. - Adam spoke up, for the first time since they entered the forest.

-No. - The Doctor disagreed. - Not evil, not intentionally made, and not even particularly dangerous. This, - he said, poking at the bubble with his foot, - is what happens when two universes with different physical constants bump into each other. Not as rare as you might think. Usually harmless too. They just… float away from each other.

-Is that how we ended up here? - Rose asked.

-Could be. - The Doctor nodded. - Doesn’t matter. Point is, I could leave this be and wait for it to resolve, but it’s sucking in too much energy and that might freeze the village half to death.

-We don’t want that. - Wensleydale said.

-I figured. - The Doctor smiled at him. - Which is why I will help it on its way. Un-bump it, before it has a chance to do any harm.

-Don’t you need some high-tech scientific equipment to do it? - Crowley asked, still apprehensive.

-Well, - the Doctor replied, - usually, you’d need a great many things to fix it, but luckily for you, I was in the area, and I’m extremely clever, did I mention?

-Once or twice. - Crowley muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. - Very well. Do it then.

-Not _that_ easy. - The Doctor responded. - I’ll need to do some calculations. Also, are there any electronics shops nearby?


	5. 4

# [4]

By the time they returned to Tadfield (with Crowley in the driver’s seat again and the Doctor under strict orders not to say a word while inside of the demon’s car), it was already pitch black and cold enough for snow to start falling. The thin jacket was no longer sufficient, and the Doctor gave Rose his coat. It dragged on the ground behind her as they walked, her right hand in her own pocket, her left one in his, squeezing his palm.

-Are we staying the night, then? - Rose asked.

She had pretty much slept through the discussion they had in the car, lulled by its rhythmic movement.

-We have friends in the area. - Crowley told her. - Grown-up friends. - He elaborated. - Probably a good idea to give them a call, though.

-I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Device will be happy to have us. - Aziraphale said.

-But it’s polite to give a heads up. - Crowley replied, dialing the number.

-A polite demon. - The Doctor muttered, making Rose smile. - Interesting.

As it turned out, Mr. And Mrs. Device did not, indeed, mind their friends showing up out of nowhere and spending the night at their house. They were waiting for them at the gates, which guarded the entrance to a rather large cottage at the far southern corner of Tadfield.

-Hello there! - Anathema greeted, her dark eyes gleaming in the lamplight, positively radiating friendliness and warmth. - I haven’t seen you in ages.

She proceeded to hug the smiling Aziraphale and the somewhat reluctant Crowley.

-It’s only been a couple months. - Crowley pointed out, and shook hands with Newt.

-Are you here because of, uhh… - Newt paused, waving around himself. - Stuff happening?

-Broadly speaking. - Crowley frowned. - Now prepare for more weirdness.

He slowly stepped away, letting the lamplight hit the Doctor and Rose.

Anathema gasped. Newt just blinked, having been desensitized to the effects of the supernatural by surviving an apocalypse and marrying a witch.

-Explanations take three. - The Doctor said. - Hello. I’m the Doctor, and this is Rose…

This time their story was swallowed with surprisingly little protest or doubt.

-Does it happen often? - Anathema inquired, leading the group through a vivacious if rather disorganized garden. -Accidentally flying into a parallel universe. - She clarified .

-It’s not flying, per se… - The Doctor began, but was interrupted by Rose.

-Not at all. - She responded. - Shouldn’t even be possible, but he’s like a magnet for impossible things. Statisticians hate him.

-Can you go back to your own world? - Newt asked.

-Sure. - The Doctor nodded. - But not before we help you.

The bright and messy garden never ended; instead, it smoothly morphed into an open roof terrace, enveloped in and crisscrossed by climbing plants. The door leading from the terrace into the house was wide open, revealing a long, narrow corridor.

-Take your shoes off, if you don’t mind. - Newt instructed, entering the house after Anathema. - I washed the floors this morning.

-You don’t have any bags, do you? - Anathema asked.

-Only the contents of our pockets. - The Doctor told her.

-Which is a lot of stuff, actually. - Rose pointed out - and, as if to demonstrate, put her arm elbow-deep into the pocket of the Doctor’s coat and procured an entire pack of Cadbury’s Crunchy Melts. - Like a Kinder Surprise egg. - She smiled, handing over the pack to the bewildered Newt. - You never know what you will get.

They were led into an enormous space which served the function of both a living room and a dining room, but was airy enough to host a small dancing competition. Rose turned her head left and right, noticing countless little details in the bizarre decor. A myriad of paintings, figurines, plant pots, photos, and pieces of memorabilia covered the walls, the shelves, and the coffee tables. None of it was tacky or in bad taste, but it was a lot to take in.

-No special dinner, I’m afraid. - Newt said, but still gestured for everyone to sit down. - Just leftovers from lunch. You should have called me in advance, I would have cooked something for you.

-Leftovers are fine. - Crowley assured him. - Do you need help with the plates?

-I won’t say no to help. - He shrugged.

And the two of them vanished into the kitchen.

-The guy can cook? - The Doctor asked, mildly surprised.

-Cooking, cleaning, gardening… - Anathema confirmed. - Sewing, but only by hand. Basically, anything home-related - provided there are no computers involved. He is absolutely rubbish with computers.

-The opposite of you. - Rose whispered.

-I can cook _some_ things. - He whispered back.

-Cooking popcorn in the TARDIS engine doesn’t count. - She told him, and got a gentle poke in the ribs as a reply.

The reheated leftovers tasted delicious. Perhaps Newt was an exceptionally good cook, or perhaps they were already starving after the forest walk and the subsequent shopping trip. Rose gulped down her shepherd’s pie as she half-listened to the conversation. She definitely felt like she was fifth-wheeling a friendly reunion. Now she understood what it must have been like for Mickey to hear the Doctor and her reminisce on adventures they’ve had together, without being able to relate to any of it.

-How is head office these days? - Newt asked, collecting the now empty plates into a neat pile.

-Same old. - Crowley shrugged. - I think. I stopped showing up for meetings ages ago, and I severely doubt they pay attention to our reports.

-Likewise on my side. - Aziraphale added. - Except I know for certain they don’t read _my_ reports. I’ve been putting obvious falsehoods in them for months, and no one has even raised an eyebrow.

-What’s the point then? - Anathema sipped her mulled wine. - They don’t give you orders anymore, but you still make observations and send them upstairs - or downstairs - for… what? Ticking off some box? Monitoring you in some way?

-Keep us from getting bored, I imagine. - Crowley suggested. - We’re not subservient anymore, not after the schemes we’ve pulled off - but they don’t really respect us either. They’re either afraid of us, or much worse - they pity us. So they throw us this title of Observers to make us feel special. But in reality, it’s all bullshit. We’re just… here. No job. No goal. No purpose.

There was a heavy minute of silence, during which Rose tried her best to read Crowley’s and Aziraphale’s faces. Crowley seemed indifferent, even mildly amused - but also tense, like he was covering up some other emotion. Aziraphale, on the other hand, looked lost, and almost sad. “Must be tough being fired from a job you’ve had for several thousand years,” she thought.

-We have, however, - Aziraphale said, taking a ninety-degree swing into a happier mood, - acquired a new hobby - watching the new field agents.

-It’s _very_ entertaining. - Crowley said, a smug smirk appearing on his face. - They have absolutely no idea what they’re doing! One of the new demons came to me asking for advice, and I gave him a whole truck and an extra bucket of fake info. Had a very fun month watching her try to apply the knowledge.

-No job then. - For the first time in the evening, the Doctor managed to interject himself into the conversation. - So what do you do all day?

The angel and the demon paused, looking at each other.

-Eh. - Crowley shrugged, unsure. - Aziraphale has a shop. And cooking classes. And a book club. And volunteering. And other hobbies I can’t keep up with. And I… have hobbies also.

Aziraphale nodded at every word. The question had caught him off guard. Surely, he had interests, and passions, and goals, and other ways to occupy his time. He wasn’t living a meaningless life of fleeting pleasure! There was no empty void inside of him, no yearning to find a bigger purpose. Everything was just _fine_ …

-We spend time together. - Aziraphale said, trying to persuade himself above all else. - Go to different places. Learn new things. We do what we please, in short.

-Right. Okay. - The Doctor said. - And you? - He turned to Anathema and Newt.

-She’s a journalist. - Newt replied. - And I, well… as of now, I am a professional husband. And at some point, - he glanced at Anathema, making sure she was okay with him saying it, - soon, we hope, - they both smiled, - I’ll be a professional dad.

-Brilliant! - The Doctor beamed. - Good luck with your future small humans.

-Have you been married long? - Rose asked.

-Almost the same as Aziraphale and Crowley. - Newt replied. - Five… is it five? - He checked with Anathema. - Five years. I caught the bouquet. - He added. - Proposed that same week.

“Interesting,” Rose thought, and picked on the remains of her food as the conversation went on and away from the previous topic. Here were two couples who had been married for about the same amount of time, yet were quite different.

Crowley and Aziraphale… It was impossible not to notice that the two were blissfully in love. They barely stepped away from each other, and whenever they did and reunited, their faces lit up with so much affection, they could as well have been carrying a giant heart sign above them at all times. Newt and Anathema, on the other hand… She hadn’t seen them quibble or argue, but she hadn’t seen them be particularly affectionate with each other either. They seemed very much like a couple that had settled into the warm familiarity of a secure relationship. But Aziraphale and Crowley - that love burned like wildfire.

She thought about her own story, flipping through the pages of her memory, while her gaze focused on the pressed flowers collage on the opposite wall. The Doctor and her were in the first scenario, surely. She didn’t know, wouldn’t even be able to guess how long they’d been traveling together - and she loved him so much, it was hard to handle at times. The fire had never calmed down; if anything, it burned brightly, steadily, gaining in power as she discovered more about him, and as they grew closer.

What would they be five, ten, fifteen years from now? Was it even possible to “settle” if your life was one long blur of an adventure? And kids, God… did she even want kids? Did _he_? And if either of them did, was that a thing you could do in the TARDIS? Adopt a kid, raise them on the go… Or would they have to settle for some eighteen- odd years? All questions that she had serious trouble wrapping her head around. Questions they weren’t even close to discussing, stuck at the “admitting publicly that you are a couple” stage. She hadn’t even told her mum… for the better, perhaps.

Rose’s internal monologue was interrupted by Newt bringing desert.

-More reheated left-overs, I’m afraid. - He apologized, and plopped a half-eaten apple crumble on the table.

And then everyone proceeded to assure the embarrassed host that they absolutely didn’t mind.

-You seem out of it. - The Doctor whispered to Rose while he filled her plate. - Tired?

-Yeah. - She lied. - You seem out of it, too.

-Can’t pay attention to things that don’t concern me. - He admitted - and moved his own plate to show her a paper napkin covered in messy drawings, equations, and random words scribbled in his terrible handwriting. - I’ve been working.

-You really think you can fix this with a few batteries and a paper bag of screws? - She teased, smirking at him.

-I can fix it with _less_. - He scoffed. - I’ll manage it by noon. With enough to spare to go for a walk in the forest afterward.

-Suuure.

-I bet you fifteen quid.

-Not interested in your money.

-Something else, then? - He raised an eyebrow at her.

In response, she leaned a little bit closer, covering the already tiny distance between them, and whispered in his ear.

-Okay. - He replied, his voice cracking mid-word. - Deal.

Meanwhile, all of the food was eaten, all of the topics discussed, and, judging by Newt’s feeble attempts to conceal his yawns, it was getting considerably late.

-Thank you for a wonderful evening. - Aziraphale announced, dabbing at the side of his mouth with a napkin.

-Uh-huh. - Crowley confirmed, and got up from the table. - Is our room free?

-Yes, - Newt got up as well, - but I need to bring you blankets and extra pillows. And you, - he pointed at the Doctor and Rose, - wait for me in the corridor. I’ll show you the room.

Ten minutes later, Newt was already at the door, a heap of freshly dried towels in his hands.

-There you go. - He said, and placed the towels on a large king-sized bed.

-Ah. - The Doctor said, realizing that the room was intended for both of them. Together. As a couple. - We’re not…

Rose watched him closely, waiting for the end of that sentence. But, noticing her stare, the Doctor decided not to finish it at all.

-Any problem? - Newt asked.

-No problem, - the Doctor shook his head, - it’s just, uh, you know, doesn’t matter. I wasn’t planning on sleeping anyway. - He said, indicating the pile of spare parts that he extracted from Crowley’s car a few minutes earlier.

-Yeah, - Rose added, employing a sly smile, - he sure can keep me up all night.

It wasn’t clear what was more awkward - Newt’s stifled laugh, or the Doctor’s lopsided smile and flushed cheeks.

-Goodnight, then. - Newt muttered, and escaped the room. - Let me know if you need anything. - He added before disappearing into the semi-darkness of the corridor, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone.

They spent a good while in silence: the Doctor getting through the first steps of assembling his gadget, Rose watching him, sat cross-legged on the bed, a heavy coffee table book on her lap. She switched between looking at the photos of tropical birds and the Doctor’s long, nimble fingers rummaging in the depths of some electronic abomination, taking it apart one thing at a time. She sighed, and tapped her fingers on the page.

-Why can’t we just tell people? - She said, surprising even herself.

-Huh? - The Doctor looked up at her, the lamplight making his face look angular, almost stern.

-We’re a couple. - Rose explained, and oh, it felt _divine_ to finally say it out loud. - We’re… we’re _together_ , right?

She wondered if he would deny it even to her - but to her astonishment, he flashed her a brief but warm smile and gave her a single nod.

-So why the hell are we hiding that?

-Because… - He began, then paused, and sighed. - I don’t know. - He confessed. - Because if I don’t protest, don’t correct people, if we kiss in public and just tell people about it - then this becomes A Thing. - He waved his hand in a vague gesture. - And if you acknowledge it as A Thing, there is no going back anymore, no changing your mind and reconsidering it. It’s done.

-Don’t you think it is already too late for that? - Rose moved over on the bed to be closer to him. - Don’t you think this became A Thing, - she made air quotes, - somewhere in between the first and the, I don’t know, the fifteenth time we had sex?

He didn’t reply.

-And besides, - she continued, - what’s so bad in acknowledging this as A Thing?

He shrugged and shook his head.

-I… - he said, rubbing his forehead thoughtfully, - I don’t deal with breakups very well. Or goodbyes in general. I’ve lived through a few of them. Enough for several lifetimes. And I’m not sure I can survive another one of those.

Rose frowned, studying his face - eyes full of dull pain, a tiny quiver in his lower lip… and something else. Something she didn’t see in him often. Fear.

-Again. - She muttered, moving even closer to the edge of the bed. - Bit too late for that, if you ask me.

-Fair enough. - He smiled, sadly. - Sorry. - And he looked away, returning to his device. - You deserve better than this.

A few seconds later, and she was by his side, hugging him.

-It’s fine. - She told him - and meant it. - You haven’t _outright_ denied it today. That’s something. Baby steps.

-If you say so. - He said, and kissed her.

They chatted while he worked, and when the Doctor noticed that Rose was dozing off, he put the now half-assembled device away for a while.

They fell asleep together.

But the next day, she still woke up alone.

*

At three o’clock in the morning (or, perhaps, three o’clock at night), lights still burned in two windows in the Device house: one in the dining room, where the Doctor carried on with his work, alone, and one in Aziraphale and Crowley’s bedroom.

Crowley peered out into the dull darkness of the garden, standing close enough to the glass for vapor to settle on its smooth surface. He hadn’t slept a wink. He pretended to, for Aziraphale’s sake, but his patience had run out about an hour ago. So now he paced around the room like a caged animal, pausing every now and then to gather his thoughts.

He was scared, and he didn’t like it. He’d forgotten what it was like to feel scared. He’d been under the impression that, surely, after everything he’d been through, barely any danger could pull the earth from underneath his feet like that. He was wrong - because now, staring at the night sky and the dark ground, the fear was strong enough to make him want to run away. Run from this place, run for his life - and never look back.

-Crowley? - Aziraphale called out, and the demon turned around and smiled warmly at him. - Why are you up?

Aziraphale had spent the last few hours listening to “La Belle Sauvage”, a sleeping mask over his eyes. He’d discovered the absence of his husband when he turned on his side and failed to wrap his arms around him.

-Not in a sleepy mood. - Crowley shrugged. - Listen to your thing. I’m good.

Aziraphale wasn’t satisfied with that answer. He took the other headphone piece out of his ear, wrapped himself in a throw blanket, and slipped out of bed.

-Full moon is in a few days. - Crowley said, and pointed at the garden with two fingers of his right hand - That garden should be drowning in moonlight.

-The fog is too thick. - Aziraphale nodded. - And the clouds.

-I hate everything about this. - Crowley sighed. - I sure hope that Doctor bloke means business. I trust him even less now. This… thing in the forest. It’s not natural, and it’s not supernatural. It’s something else, and I hate it.

Aziraphale wasn’t sure what to add to that. He felt it too, felt the dread that lingered in the air and soaked your very soul with its essence. However, it wasn’t his biggest worry for the moment. Something else was on his mind. Another fear, in fact - but of a more abstract nature.

-Answer me something. - Aziraphale said, taking Crowley’s hand.

His large, unblinking eyes focused on him at once.

-Yes?

Aziraphale hesitated before asking.

-Am I enough? - He uttered at last. - Are _we_ enough?

-What do you mean? - Crowley blinked, his facial expression mixed, stuck in between confused and concerned.

-We used to be a part of something. - The angel elaborated. - We worked towards a higher purpose. And I realized it only recently, but I did enjoy it. Perhaps I did not always agree with the individual decisions, but at least I believed that I was needed here. And what are we now? What do we have now?

-Each other. - Crowley replied at once.

To him, it was so obvious of a fact, he thought it didn’t even need saying.

-Yes, - Aziraphale smiled, caressing Crowley’s palm with his fingers, - but other than that? What do we live for? What is our purpose here?

Crowley remained silent. He didn’t have an answer.

He’d never really liked his role, even though he found certain parts of it fun, even fulfilling. So for him, leaving this part of his life behind was not such a harsh blow.

-We have this world. - He said at last. - Places we can visit, things we can experience. Isn’t that what life is for? Just… - He gestured vaguely around himself. - Having fun.

-Is that all? - Aziraphale seemed disappointed.

-Being happy. - Crowley nodded. - More or less.

-Is that enough for you?

-I think it is. - He said, then paused.

Now that Aziraphale had brought it up, he was no longer so sure.

-It is not for me. - Aziraphale told him.

-I’m… - Crowley stuttered. - I’m sorry. - He paused again, looking out the window once more. - Am I enough?

-Of course you are. - Aziraphale dismissed. - Dear, that’s not what I meant. Not what I meant at all. What I had on my mind is, well… I wish we were needed. I wish we had a place.

-Yeah. - Crowley muttered. - That would be nice.

He put an arm around Aziraphale’s shoulder and pulled him in closer. They stood in front of the window, and watched the wind push at the fog and the clouds. Quiet. Thoughtful. Lost… but lost together.


	6. 5

# [5]

The night lingered on for what felt like centuries, reluctant to loosen its grip on the dark, windy and freezing village of Tadfield. When the morning finally crept in and lit up the sky, the sunrise drowned in the fog and the clouds, and the temperature barely went up. It took a fair amount of effort for Rose to leave the bed. It might have been empty, but it was still warm, and comfortable, and safe. And the outside world was far from such kindness.

She refused to part with the blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders and dragging it along the floor behind her like an oversized cloak. The house was quiet, and the lights were off in the corridors. She stepped barefoot across the icy floor and followed the only sound she could hear - the rumble of a boiling kettle. It led her into a place next to the dining room - an airy and spotlessly clean kitchen.

-Oh. - Rose said, noticing the dark figure of Crowley at the kitchen counter.

He was rummaging through the enormous fridge in search of milk, seemingly casual and relaxed, as if he owned the place.

-Expected someone else? - He asked without turning around.

When he finally located the milk bottle, he set it aside next to the two cups he was half-done with - then, with a moment of consideration, reached into the cupboard and put down another cup.

-Yeah. - Rose agreed, and took a seat at the small table that rested next to a huge, oval-shaped window.

-So did I. - Crowley said, indicating a teapot that he’d set up. - Tea or coffee?

-Coffee. - Rose replied without thinking.

-Good choice. - He smiled. - Their coffee machine costs more than some cars. Would be a shame not to use it as much as physically possible.

He sipped his own drink before setting up the coffee machine, pouring Rose a cup, and taking a seat opposite her.

-Sleep well? - He asked, pushing the cup towards her.

In response, Rose picked up the cup and drank half of it in one go.

-Me neither. - He smiled again.

-I don’t think anyone did.

She paused before saying her next words, studying Crowley’s face. It was absolutely bizarre, Rose thought. Here was a person who looked almost exactly like the man she loved, yet she didn’t feel anything towards him. Not even a blip. At the same time, she felt the same surge of love in her chest whenever she stumbled upon their old photos - photos from the time the Doctor wore a black leather jacket and had less inconspicuous ears.

She loved him back then, and she loved him now, regardless of how he looked like. It was as if the Doctor had some sort of a Doctor essence to him. Some special quality that went beyond his looks, or mannerisms, or even the finer details of his personality. And she loved it. Loved _him:_ completely, utterly, with every cell of her wonderfully human brain.

Rose sighed and took another large sip of the, indeed, astonishingly good coffee.

-Have you ever loved someone so much that you almost can’t bear it? - She asked, and the demon took off his sunglasses and blinked at her, a bit confused. - So much that, sometimes, you just feel like lying face down on the floor and crying cause you can’t even cope with it?

-Going straight for personal questions, aren’t you? - Crowley smirked. - Bold. I like bold. And the answer is yes.

-Have you ever loved someone who didn’t love you back? - She continued the assault.

Crowley hesitated, then nodded a few times.

-Kinda. - He elaborated. - For a while. Or I thought so, at least.

-Have you ever been with someone who _seems_ to care a great deal about you, but never says it?

-Again, yes, for some time, at least.

-Who are all of those people? - Rose smiled.

-There’s only ever been one. - Crowley told her. - But it’s a long, long story.

-Same. - She sighed again. - God, I used to think that high school was complicated. You know that whole “does he like me or does he _like_ like me” torture. The gossip. The gestures. Crying in your pillow all night over some stupid nonsense. Seems so easy now.

-Boyfriend troubles? - Crowley guessed.

Rose shrugged, then started laughing, and covered her face with her hand.

-I think he’s the love of my life. - She finally said. - But I haven’t told him that. I’m not even sure I’ve ever told him that I love him… I’m sure he knows. Of course he does. And he… - She paused, and smiled, staring into the distance. - Sometimes he looks at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Like I am more important than anything to him. And we are _together_ , I guess, but are we, really? We never talk about _anything!_ It’s all just… assumptions. What are we scared of? - She looked Crowley in the eyes. - What’s wrong with us?

-Nothing. - He said, and his expression softened. - You will avoid the topic for a while. Dance around it in conversation. Joke about it. Hint at it. Almost dare each other to say it first. It will be fun and exciting, but also frustrating, painful. Sometimes you will hate yourself for it. Sometimes you will almost hate _him_. Then, one day, out of nowhere, it will just burst out of you when either of you is least expecting it, and you’ll look at each other, and you’ll realize that you’ve known it all along. And then you won’t ever stop. Won’t be _able_ to stop. You’ll keep repeating it till your last breath. I love you, I love you, I love you. Until it sinks in properly. Until it loses all meaning. Until you make up for all of the times you could have said it, but didn’t. Until that old ache goes away.

-Huh. -Rose said, sipping the rest of her coffee.

-Is that it? - Crowley asked. - Thought you’d be more impressed.

-I _am_ impressed. - She told him. - But I also suspect that you’re recycling some old bit of writing that you put in your diary thirty years ago and memorized because you were proud of it.

-Maybe I am. - Crowley laughed. - But hey, I’ve been in love for longer than your civilization has been around, so I’m allowed.

-Fair enough. - She said. - Is it worth it, though? Is it worth the wait?

-Yeah. - He responded. - Always.

And they didn’t need to say anything else. They understood each other perfectly.

*

While Rose and Crowley were finishing their coffee in the kitchen, the Doctor was outside, pacing the garden in circles, over and over again. He had finished working on the device more than an hour ago, and Rose was still asleep when he checked in on her, so he left the bulky contraption on the terrace and opted to go for a walk. He’d thought it would be calming and relaxing. Instead, he was now stuck in this beautiful but tiny spot of land, stepping over the same four and a half paths, like an inmate in a prison yard.

All around him, the fog was not lifting and was even thickening in places. The dread still saturated the air; it was now so real, so tangible, it was making even _him_ anxious. 

-Stay rational, Doctor. - He advised himself, helpfully. - The fog and the cold temperatures are caused by the reality bump sucking the thermal energy out of the surrounding area. And the fear is a product of infra-sound waves that it emits. Perfectly naturalistic explanation. Nothing to worry about.

-Nothing for _you_ to worry about, perhaps.

The Doctor flinched and turned a hundred and eighty degrees on the spot. Aziraphale was standing on the terrace and peering into the garden through a gap in vines and climbing flowers.

-You know what they say about talking to yourself. - Aziraphale added.

-That it’s the first sign of madness? - The Doctor suggested. - I’m afraid I’m way past the first sign. - And he offered his maddest grin as proof.

-Forgive me for not taking that as something reassuring. - Aziraphale replied, but smiled back. - Is it helping?

-What, walking around here in circles, or talking to myself? - The Doctor asked, then responded to both versions at once. - No.

He abandoned the garden and climbed the steps to the terrace. There he took a seat in a vintage rocking chair and leaned back so far, he almost lost his balance.

-May I ask something? - Aziraphale spoke up while the Doctor continued to rock the chair with startling magnitude.

-Go ahead. - The Time Lord said.

-The two of you, with your box-shaped spaceship and time machine… what is it that you do, exactly?

-Things. - The Doctor grinned. - We travel. - He elaborated. - That’s what I’ve been doing pretty much my entire life.

-You are professional tourists, I take it.

-Professional tourists? - The Doctor seemed almost offended by the suggestion. - Well, I mean, it’s not my profession and no one appointed me to the role, but I help people. We both do. We don’t just go to art galleries and museums and restaurants. We explore new planets, and solve mysteries, and save a civilization or two, occasionally. I wouldn’t call myself a hero. - He stopped rocking, and his expression turned cold and serious for a second. - Sometimes I’m not even sure whether I’d call myself a good man. But I try to help when I can. - He finished, and resumed the rocking.

Aziraphale paused before asking the next question.

-I wouldn’t ask this of a stranger, - he prefaced, - not in any sort of normal circumstances, but since you brought it up yesterday… Do you think you have a purpose in life?

-Nah. - He replied cheerfully. - I don’t need one! I have my freedom, unlimited curiosity, and someone I, well, - he hesitated, - someone I care about a great amount. Who the hell needs a specific, well-defined purpose?

-I do. - Aziraphale muttered, and the Doctor stopped rocking again.

He frowned, noticing Aziraphale’s absent stare as something quite uncommon happened in his brain - he realized that, maybe, just maybe, something that he had said didn’t really need to be said.

-Sorry, did I say something wrong? - The Doctor asked, surprising even himself. - It’s been communicated to me that I can be rude sometimes. Rose says I have this thing called Asperger’s Syndrome, whatever that means.

Aziraphale blinked at the Doctor.

-How peculiar. Crowley brought up that same description a while ago.

-We understand each other, then. - The Doctor told him. - So was I rude?

-Not rude, I’d say. - He replied. - But you’ve mentioned something that our friends don’t mention. Because they anticipated this reaction from me, I’d imagine. - Aziraphale added, smiling in a rather sad manner.

-Okay. - The Doctor got up from the rocking chair and took a seat on a nearby bench. - This sounds like a problem, and I’m about the best problem-solver I know. So. What is it that you used to do _before_ your Apocalypse?

-This and that. - Aziraphale shrugged. - Blessings, miraculous healings, small acts of kindness, that sort of thing.

-And you had direct orders for _all_ of those tasks?

-Not every single one, no.

-And whoever used to give them to you - your head office - they don’t really care about you anymore, right?

-Right. - Aziraphale said. - I’ve been left to my own Devices. - He added, gesturing around himself to indicate the house.

The Doctor smiled. He certainly loved himself a good pun.

-And you enjoyed that work?

-I did. Not all of it, but a great deal of it.

-I don’t see the problem, then! - The Time Lord announced cheerfully. - You like helping people, and you have the ability to help people, and no one is standing over you telling you what to do. Why not just do it?

Aziraphale looked at him, frowning slightly, then looked away, then looked at him again. Surely, there was a catch there somewhere. Surely, this couldn’t have been so simple. Or was he so caught up in the forest he didn’t see the trees?

-I… - Aziraphale began, but didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence.

Didn’t even get the chance to gather his thoughts, as the doors to the terrace opened, and two people walked out - Rose first, and Crowley second.

-There you are. - Crowley smiled at his husband, and handed him over a steaming mug of tea. - It got cold, but I reheated it in a microwave.

-Oh. - Aziraphale tried not to show doubt when accepting the mug. - I’m sure that didn’t ruin the taste at all.

-Good morning! - The Doctor smiled cheerfully at Rose, and tapped the bench, inviting her to take a seat.

-I look like a terrifying bog witch. - She joked, indicating her messy hair and the blanket that was still wrapped around her shoulders. - No offense to Mrs. Device. - She added.

-She wouldn’t take any. - Crowley assured her.

-You look lovely. - The Doctor said, and tucked a streak of her blonde hair behind her left ear. - And you’d make a great bog witch.

-Thanks. - She giggled.

They looked at each other for a while, and for a moment or two, Rose almost thought that he was about to say something very important - or kiss her, at least. But instead, the Doctor jumped up from the bench, suddenly filled with manic energy.

-The un-poking machine is ready. - He announced, indicating the heap of lamps and wires that rested in the corner. - We can go and fix it now.

-Un-poking machine? - Rose laughed.

-The universes poked into each other, - he explained, - and now I will un-poke them. Simple, really. Well, not simple at all, your science doesn’t have half the equations needed to build this baby, - he picked up the heavy blob of metal and plastic and patted it affectionately, - but we studied this in middle school. Lucky I didn’t doze off at that particular lecture.

-Saved again by you not being a _completely_ terrible student. - Rose remarked cheekily, but the Doctor ignored her.

-So, what do you say, team? - The Doctor asked. - Some breakfast before we save the world?

-It pains me to say this, - Aziraphale responded, - but, on this occasion, I think we can skip breakfast. Or postpone it, at least.

And the rest of them agreed. Surely, a little bit of hunger was worth getting rid of this nightmare…

-Get ready, then. - The Doctor instructed. - We’re going back to the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: as an autistic person myself, I do know that Asperger's is an outdated diagnosis that is not used anymore - however, as the events of seasons 1 and 2 of modern Doctor Who are set in early 2000s, it is reasonable to assume that, were Rose to actually make such a remark, she would use the phrasing that was common at the time.


	7. 6

# [6]

They didn’t see a single person on their way to Hogback Woods. Coated by fog and meek sunlight, the village seemed abandoned, dead. There were no cars on the roads. The windows didn’t glow with light. Even the birds were quiet. All around them was nothing but cold, dense, unwavering, oppressive silence.

-Are you sure we’re walking in the right direction? - Rose asked, even though she knew the answer perfectly well.

One could arrive at the epicenter of this madness simply by letting their self-preservation instinct pick a direction, then turning around and going in the exact opposite one.

-Yes. - The Doctor assured her. - Trust me, we won’t miss it.

Upon entering the forest, the Doctor handed over his un-poking machine to the nearest volunteer (it turned out to be Crowley) and fished his sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket. He scanned everything around him as they walked. Judging by how often his left eyebrow went up in surprise and confusion, the results of the scans were far from expected. Rose decided not to interfere.

They all knew that they were close when the fog began to dissipate and, peering into the distance, they saw trees covered in frost and snow.

-It’s snowing. - Aziraphale said, pointing at the gap between trees where snowflakes were falling from the sky like a white fluffy powder. - In August!

-This is not good. - The Doctor muttered. - The distortion is growing too fast. Absorbing too much energy. - His expression darkened for a few moments, then swayed madly into joy. - Good thing I am about to fix it! Alright, we should be in range.

He snatched his monstrosity of a device out of Crowley’s hands, pushed a few buttons, turned a few dials, then pointed the thing in the direction of snowy trees.

-This might make a lot of noise. - He warned, and Rose covered her ears at once. - Okay. Three, two, one…

He closed his eyes in preparation for a wall of deafening sound, flicked the final switch and… nothing.

Rose waited for a few seconds, then risked opening one eye, then removing her palms from her ears.

-It hasn’t happened. - She muttered, looking at the Doctor.

-Yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious. - The Doctor snapped - then, realizing how rude that sounded, whispered. “Sorry.”

-Is something wrong? - Aziraphale asked.

-Not at all! - The Doctor assured him, trying desperately to fix the issue. - My calculations might have been teensy-tiny bit off. Just a dash. A smidgen. Nothing I can’t correct for. Alright. Second attempt.

This time, Rose didn’t need a warning. Everyone stood back in preparation for some great big show… And still, there was nothing.

-I can’t be off by more than a second decimal! - The Doctor said, now going through every possible combination of settings and flicking the switch again and again. - I’ve checked it seventeen times.

-Check it as much as you want, - Crowley sneered, - Won’t help if the initial idea was wrong. Guess you aren’t as smart as you think you are.

-Maybe I’m not. - The Doctor agreed.

He put the un-poking machine down on the frosted earth and approached Crowley in wide strides.

-Shouldn’t have trusted you with carrying it, for one.

-Bullshit. - Crowley laughed, genuinely amused. - You think I dropped it or something?

-Oh, I rather think that was intentional.

- _What?_ \- He took off his sunglasses and looked the Doctor in the eyes, all humor gone from his voice. - Are you implying that I would sabotage your majestic rescue and cause another apocalypse out of sheer pettiness?

-How do I know you didn’t start the thing in the first place, huh? - The Doctor continued, now almost nose-to-nose close with his look-alike.

-Why on Earth would I do that? - Crowley bellowed. - Did you not grasp the fact that I was one of the people who _prevented_ the previous apocalypse?

-Well, sorry for not immediately trusting a literal demon. - The Doctor replied breezily.

Crowley blinked. Interesting. He felt… _something_ at that remark. Something that he hadn’t experienced in several years. Here, in front of him, was a person who actually saw him as dangerous, who considered him a threat! Crowley had forgotten what it was like to be a demon.

Frankly, he wasn’t even sure whether he still counted as one. He hadn’t been in hell since the Apocalypse that didn’t happen, and although he still tempted people every now and then, those were an order of magnitude below even his smallest, pettiest jobs from back in the day. He didn’t really care, but he did miss one aspect of it. The fear. The consideration. The respect. And now, someone finally gave him the respect he deserved.

Crowley stepped aside. Rose, who watched this argument unravel from afar, thought that here, finally, the Doctor had struck a chord with him. Then Crowley smiled, and she realized that she was wrong. He didn’t take it as an insult - he took it as a compliment.

-That’s right. - Crowley said, and his voice grew cold. - I _am_ a demon. And if I wanted you out of my way, you wouldn’t be standing here right now.

“Uh-oh,” Rose thought. Threatening the Doctor - never a good move. She braced herself for whatever was coming next when she heard someone laughing. Aziraphale.

-Sorry. - He apologized, still laughing. - I know I’m ruining your intimidation, dear, but I was just wondering - how would you get him out of your way? Annoy him till he leaves? Or ask _me_ to annoy him till he leaves, rather. - He continued, now turning towards the Doctor, despite Crowley’s intense glare. - Don’t listen to him. Crowley is very good at taking credit for human evil, and for putting the humans in a position where they are likely to reveal the darker parts of their nature, but he is not so good at the classic demonic approach.

-You aren’t perfect either. - Rose said, approaching the Doctor and tugging at his sleeve to make him step away from Crowley. - There are so many ways you could have ruined that thing. Remember how we ended up here?

He attempted to say something, but she shushed him.

-Besides, - Rose continued, - you two have some things in common, apart from looks. You’re both brave, and independent, and protective. Both rebels. Both have an atrocious fashion sense. - Crowley took fierce insult at that point. - Both have a thing for blondes, apparently.

The Doctor and Crowley were silent. Slowly, they turned away from each other, and turned to each of their left sides - the Doctor to Rose, and Crowley to Aziraphale. Suddenly, all their anger and eagerness to fight was gone.

-In my infinite wisdom, - the Doctor said, jokingly this time, - I’ve realized that fighting my allies is not the best way to succeed.

-I didn’t really _choose_ to be a demon. - Crowley confessed. - All I did was ask questions and hang out with the wrong people. Didn’t want to stay in line - got thrown out.

The Doctor nodded. That bit sounded familiar.

-And I’m not particularly good at it. - Crowley admitted. - I _have_ been fired, you know.

-I was sent into exile by my own people, - the Doctor replied, - so I stole a spaceship from a museum and ran away.

Crowley paused, then smiled. He extended his hand towards the Doctor, and he shook his hand.

-Colleagues. - The Doctor smiled back.

-Colleagues. - Crowley confirmed.

-Guys, - Rose reminded, - this is very touching, but we’re kind of buggered right now.

-Yes. Of course. - The Doctor said, and went to collect his device. - Let’s go back, and I’ll try to repair this thing.

No one decided to argue with that idea. Anywhere was better than here.

*

Deidre Young fell backward into an armchair in her living room and allowed herself one exasperated sigh. She would not admit it to herself, but she was sick with worry.

It was trivial at first. Nothing unusual, especially by Tadfield’s standards. But as the fog grew denser, the temperatures went down to winter levels, and the feeling of utter dread in the air intensified, the Young family was forced to admit it - A Thing was in progress.

Deidre didn’t know how to deal with such Things. She’d spent the past two days trying to keep her family safe with warm clothes and hot drinks, but she knew it was a temporary solution. She considered packing their bags and leaving the house for a few days but quickly realized that running away would be a temporary solution too. The world was wrong, and she couldn’t fix it.

But she knew someone who could - and, as much as she hated it, perhaps the best decision now was to accept the help. So she stood up, collected herself, and walked up to her son’s bedroom.

-Adam? - She called out gently, knocking on the door.

Deidre loved her son, loved him with her entire soul… but she always suspected, always knew, deep down, that he was no ordinary boy.

-Adam, sweetheart? - She repeated, and tried the door. It wasn’t locked. - Can I come in?

Still there was no reply. She pried the door open and stepped over the threshold.

The room was almost pitch dark - the curtains drawn, all the lights off - and startlingly cold. The floor was covered by an even layer of things, mostly stationary and clothes. Adam laid on the unmade bed, face down in the blanket. He didn’t move an inch when he heard his mother come in. Dog took up the place on the pillow, his head resting on his master’s palm – there for him. Always.

-Oh, Adam. - She murmured, and her face fell.

Something was wrong with her boy. She’d noticed it several weeks ago, and she’d tried to bring it up multiple times, but he refused to talk.

-Your phone is going off like mad. - She pointed out with a smile, seeing the screen flicker on the bedstead. - I think your friends want to get in touch.

-They don’t care. - Adam spoke up, his voice monotonous, subdued. - Not really. They’re doing it out of guilt. I’m a terrible friend, anyway.

-That’s not true! - Deidre took a few steps forward and sat down on the edge of his bed. - They care about you very much. In fact, all three of them came to me separately to say that they’re worried about you.

-They’re idiots, then. - Adam muttered. - I don’t deserve friendship. I don’t deserve anything.

Deidre frowned. She wished she had words that would soothe his pain, but all she could do was stroke his arm affectionately and tut.

-My poor boy. - She cooed. - You deserve the world.

She paused, and shook her head. What unfortunate timing for A Thing to happen.

-I can fix it. - Adam said, as if he read his mother’s mind. - It’s not easy, but I can. It’s just…

-Yes? - She prompted.

He hesitated before dismissing it.

-Doesn’t matter. Go. Go be with dad. - Adam told her. - I just need a few more moments.

And again, she wanted to say something - warm, encouraging, wise - yet no words came to her. “Am _I_ a bad mother?” she thought, before placing a kiss on her son’s forehead and leaving his room.

Adam could save the world, she was sure of it. But who would save him?

*

-Do you need another blanket?

Rose, who was already wearing three of Anathema’s sweaters on top of one another, hesitated before giving Newt a single nod.

-I’m afraid we ran out of warm ones. - He said, handing her over a thin fleece throw blanket. - Winters never get this cold in Tadfield.

-Where’s your wife? - Rose asked, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders.

-At work. - Newt responded. - She wanted to stay, but I persuaded her that everything would be fine and she needn’t worry. Where’s your boyfriend?

-Trying to look things up on the Internet from my phone. - She explained. - How come you don’t have a computer at home? I’m from 2005, and we already had computers.

-Long story. - Newt smiled. He was about to leave her and find some activity to occupy his worried brain, but changed his mind at the last moment and took a seat on the couch next to her. - Do you think everything will be alright?

-Has to be. - Rose responded at once. - The Doctor won’t let me down.

-You believe in him this much, huh?

-I do. - She said, and the intense look in her eyes persuaded Newt that she really, really did.

-I’m scared. - He confessed.

-That’s okay. - Rose smiled encouragingly at him. - So am I.

-You know, - he chuckled, - I thought the second Apocalypse would be easier to deal with. Experience and all that.

-As someone who’s lived through multiple, - Rose told him, - trust me, it doesn’t get easier. You just get used to it.

They sat together in silence for a while, and Rose could hear the Doctor pace the room upstairs. She could almost see him - talking to himself, ruffling his hair, putting every ounce of intelligence and effort he could muster into this one problem.

-We’ll be okay. - She said, confidently. - We’ll be okay.

And she wrapped herself tighter in the blanket - as if it could somehow protect her from the freezing madness that stormed outside.


	8. 7

# [7]

-Alright guys, - Brian whispered hoarsely into the microphone attached to the collar of his warmest, puffiest coat, - we’re almost there.

He twirled on the spot, the camera shaking in his gloved hands, and showed the viewers the snow-covered tree canopy.

-As you can see, - he continued, - the snow is everywhere now. Look! I mean, bloody hell, we don’t get that much snow in _February_!

-Look. - Pepper appeared in the shot, brandishing a heap of leaves. - They froze instantly!

-Unbelievable. - Brian pointed the camera at the ground. - The earth froze solid. It’s like the entire forest has been put into a freezer overnight. That, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, is fucking wild.

-Amen to that. - Pepper agreed.

They had a good half a mile to walk before they got to the edge of the anomaly, so they needed to fill in the footage with commentary. They could edit this out, of course, but judging by the comment section, people rather enjoyed their banter. Even more so than the actual video, she suspected.

-What could have caused this? - Brian said directly into the microphone. - Leave your theories down below, guys. I am just baffled.

Pepper was about to switch into banter mode when a wave of cold wind hit her right in the face. Instinctively, she grabbed on to Brian. He turned around, his face pale. He noticed it too.

-Something’s wrong. - Pepper said, voicing his thoughts. - Like, even more wrong.

Brian swallowed hard and turned off the camera.

There, far in the distance but alarmingly close at the same time, the world was undergoing a rapid collapse. The distortion was bubbling, growing, and engulfing more and more of its surroundings. Inside of it, everything appeared pixelated, smudged - like it was slowly being erased from reality. It wasn’t a spooky but amusing anomaly anymore. Now, it was serious. Gravely serious.

Pepper and Brian turned towards each other as if in slow motion, glanced at each other, then grabbed each other’s hands and broke into a run.

*

-Go on, you useless pile of junk! - The Doctor bit his lip, then mouthed a curse in his native language. - I did everything! Absolutely everything! - He kicked the un-poking machine for good measure, and it produced a high-pitched whir and a small puff of smoke.

-Did that help? - Rose asked.

-Possibly. - The Doctor lied.

In the last hour, it had gotten too cold even for his Time Lord skin, so he was now wearing one of Newt’s cardigans under his coat.

-It isn’t working. - Rose guessed.

-No. - The Doctor agreed.

His face was pale and grave. It was his “Plan B is a bust and I haven’t got a plan C yet” phase, Rose guessed.

-Take a break. - Rose said, and took his hand.

His fingers were cold, but hers were even colder.

-Have some tea. - She continued. - Fire up those synapses of yours. Fifteen minutes won’t make a difference.

-They very much will. - He disagreed.

He brought her hand to his mouth and breathed hot air on her fingers, trying to warm her.

-We should move. - He said quietly. - Evacuate the people, or they will freeze to death. I don’t know what to do. - He looked away. He had always been a sore loser. - I can’t keep you safe.

Rose was about to say something to the contrary when she heard someone shouting outside. They both rushed for the exit. By the time they had climbed down the stairs and ran out to the terrace, Aziraphale, Crowley, and Newt were already outside, addressing the source of the sound.

-Very fast. - Brian talked in individual words, during breaks in between gasps. - Chasing us. Almost. Behind. Enormous now!

-It’s not here _yet_. - Pepper added, panting and looking anxiously over her shoulder. - But it will be. Soon. I think it’s up to Mrs. Evans’ house now.

-What’s going on? - Rose asked.

-The anomaly… thing. - Crowley replied. - It’s growing.

-Is your machine repaired? - Aziraphale asked.

The Doctor and Rose exchanged looks.

-It will have to do. - The Doctor responded eventually. - Too late to evacuate anyone now… Ugh, this is so very _wrong_! It shouldn’t be growing that fast.

-Tell that to _it_. - Brian exclaimed.

-I guess I’ll have to! - The Doctor beamed.

Even in the midst of a crisis, he was still full of mad enthusiasm.

-Gimme five. - He said, and rushed upstairs to get his device.

-Are you coming with us? - Rose asked.

-Yeah. - Brian and Pepper said in unison.

-He will not like that, - Rose tutted, but was ignored.

-We’re going, too. - Aziraphale said. - Perhaps we can be of use. We know this world better than any mortal, and we have powers of our own.

-I don’t think a miracle will help here. - Crowley muttered.

-I’d like to stay here, if that’s okay with everyone. - Newt said. - I’d love to help, but my set of skills is rather limited. I mean, I can’t cook lasagna at this thing.

Rose chuckled, despite her anxiety.

-Ready, set, go! - The Doctor practically fell out of the door frame, the un-poking machine pressed to his chest. - Everyone who’s with me, follow my lead.

-If this goes south, - Rose shouted at Newt as she struggled to keep up with the Doctor, - try to warn the people!

-Yes! - The Doctor stopped for a second. - In fact, do that now! Tell them to get as far from here as possible.

-Thanks, I’ll try? - Newt muttered, and took an old-fashioned Nokia phone out of his pocket. - Lucky I know everyone in this village.

And before he had a chance to ask how far would be as far as possible, there was already no sight of either the Doctor or anyone else.

*

They were joined halfway by a puffing Wensleydale - glasses slipping off his face, his mouth covered by a knitted Ravenclaw scarf.

-There you are. - Brian shouted on the run. - I only texted you like three hundred and fifty-seven times.

-I was asleep! - Wensleydale protested. - I’ve been up all night.

-Where’s Adam? - Pepper demanded.

-How should I know? - He replied. - He isn’t answering my texts, either.

They were close now. Very close indeed. They could feel it: a coldness so intense, it chilled you right to your very bones, and a low vibrating hum that reverberated through your skull and made you shake with terror. The Doctor urged everyone to stop. About a hundred meters from them, the world was crumbling to pieces.

-Woah. - Brian said, summarizing everyone’s thoughts. - It’s like a computer game that failed to render.

-You should not be here, children. - Aziraphale shook his head. - Leave. Find a safe place and stay there.

-Give me one good reason to do that. - Pepper said.

-Because I said so. - Aziraphale responded, making both Pepper and Crowley snort with laughter.

-You’d be a great father. - Crowley said, and Aziraphale glared at him.

-Perhaps not. – Aziraphale replied. - But I’d make an _amazing_ granny.

-What a pity we can’t adopt a grown adult who already has a kid of their own. Besides, - he added, - if one of us is going to be a granny, that will _definitely_ be me.

-Guys, the Apocalypse. - Rose reminded.

Meanwhile, the Doctor was having a very bad day.

-It’s not working. - He muttered to himself. - It won’t work.

He looked back at Rose, and caught her stare - she believed in him. She expected him to make it right. And he was letting her down.

Ahead of them, the distortion was gurgling and spitting snow and fog as it rolled towards them - so slow, but inexorably closer.

Aziraphale extended his arm and caught Crowley’s hand. The demon freed his palm angrily.

-Stop that! - He snapped. - We aren’t dying. Everything will be fine.

Rose wanted nothing more than for that sentiment to be true… but something was telling her that this story was far from over. She made a few steps forward to whisper in the Doctor’s ear.

-We have to run away. - She said. - You’ll figure it out on the go. You always do.

-People will die. - He whispered back. - _We_ might die.

-I know. - Rose nodded. - But if we stay, we will _definitely_ die.

He paused, considering her words - then turned a hundred and eighty degrees on the spot.

-Right, everyone. - He announced. - I’m afraid plan B is a bust. We’ll have to retreat while I figure out plan C.

He was about to shout “Run!” when he saw Rose’s face change. He couldn’t quite decipher this look - it was a mix of horror and awe. He followed her gaze, and suddenly that expression made perfect sense. Adam.

The wind was blowing in his face, but his hair didn’t move. He didn’t even blink as he stepped across the foggy road. His eyes glowed; his feet moved so smoothly, it almost seemed like he was walking on thin air, floating above the ground. One gesture of his hand, and everyone stepped out of his way. Even the Doctor.

-I can save you. - Adam said, and his voice sounded deeper, louder, seemingly coming from all directions at once. - I can fix this thing.

He raised his arm and held his hand in front of himself, as if trying to determine distance. He was wearing jeans and a shirt - no coat, no hat, no gloves - but was seemingly unbothered by the cold.

-What are you doing? - Crowley exclaimed, and winced in pain. - You’re… - He looked back at Aziraphale. - He’s trying to alter reality at the most fundamental level!

-He can’t! - Aziraphale gasped. - No supernatural being can handle this much. Not even him. He will kill himself!

“Here we go again,” Rose thought. Another person in line to sacrifice themselves to save everyone else. But at least it wasn’t the Doctor this time.

-Adam. - The Doctor took a tentative step towards him. - You don’t need to do this. There are other solutions.

-Are there? - He asked, and his eyes glowed even brighter. - Why didn’t _you_ fix it ,then?

-I haven’t fixed it _yet_. - The Doctor offered. - But I’m very clever, and I still have time.

-Time won’t help you now, Time Lord. - Adam said. His voice sounded almost inhuman now. - Step aside.

-Don’t do it, kid. - Crowley chimed in. - You’ll do this world a favor if you save both it and yourself.

-I will do this world a favor by exiting it. - Adam shouted back, and tears gleamed in his eyes.

He might have been the Antichrist, Rose thought, but he was still just a sad, scared kid. Only a _kid_! It had just kicked in for her… How old was Adam? Sixteen? Eighteen? Nearly the same age she was when the Doctor swept her away in his time machine. You don’t give up so easily at that age, she recalled. Not when you have something to live for.

-He seems very eager to sacrifice himself. - Rose pointed out, and frowned. There was so much raw emotion in this boy’s face – dread, anger, desperation… and pain. She glanced at the Doctor. This was not entirely unfamiliar to her…

-He does. - The Doctor scratched his eyebrow with a gloved finger. - Listen to me, Adam. - A pair of glowing eyes focused on him, staring right into the very core of his being. - I know… well, I _think_ I know how you feel.

He paused, letting Adam look into his thoughts. The boy nodded.

-This is never the solution. - The Doctor said. - No matter how much it hurts. I know you just want it to end, but you are responsible for someone. Not to your mother, or father, or to your friends, or to anyone else who knows you. You are responsible for the future you. You owe it to him to make it to the future, because you don’t know! You’ve no idea how much happiness and joy and love the future you might be experiencing. Are you going to take it away from him?

Adam was still looking him in the eyes, but now his stare faltered. He blinked, and tears streamed down his cheeks, making the glow around his face fuzzy.

-I am so sorry, my boy. - Aziraphale stepped forward. - I don’t know what caused this. I don’t know why you feel like you’d do this world a favor if you weren’t in it anymore, but I can assure you, those are all wicked lies. You are very much needed here. So many people care about you. - He pointed at Pepper, Wensleydale, and Brian, who were all on the verge of tears. - And they will be here for you no matter what.

-We will. - Pepper nodded. - Adam, if this is because of us… Oh God, I’d never forgive myself!

-We promise to be better friends. - Brian said.

-We all love you. - Wensleydale added. - Save the world, absolutely, but stay with us, please. I can’t lose my best friend. Also. – He suppressed a sob. – Someone has to take care of Dog.

Adam listened to them in silence. He looked at all of them in turn, closed his eyes… then his shoulders sagged, his feet touched the ground, and he staggered forward. All three of his friends launched at him and swept him into a tight hug. There they stood, clinging to each other, crying, and laughing, and holding on for dear life in the face of the raging storm. When Adam opened his eyes again, the demonic glow was gone.

-Second problem dealt with, for now. - The Doctor commented. - But the first problem is still very much a thing!

-We should run _now_. - Rose suggested. - Come on, people, we need to get out!

But it was too late. They hadn’t noticed this in the heat (or cold, rather) of the moment, but the anomaly had grown significantly in those few minutes. It now surrounding them from every side and was closing in. It was going to engulf them.

-What now? - Rose asked.

Crowley turned on the spot, looking for a gap - any hint of a gap - in the ever-moving bubble. There wasn’t any. He stepped towards Aziraphale and extended his arm - and Aziraphale took his hand.

-Will it be quick? - Rose whispered, clutching the Doctor’s hand so hard, it must have hurt.

-Very. - The Doctor muttered.

His eyes were wild and his mind was on fire. He wasn’t ready to give up on this yet.

-There’s something… - He screwed up his face in concentration. - Something… - He began to tap his finger on his forehead, then smashed his palm into it. - Someone said something!

-Quick, guys, - Rose laughed nervously, - repeat everything you’ve said in the past half hour in under one minute.

-So close! - The Doctor yelled, and began jumping up and down on the spot. - Think, think, think!

-Is that his usual level of insanity, - Crowley asked, - or is he trying extra hard for us?

-Shush! - Rose hissed at the demon.

-You! - The Doctor pointed at Brian. - You said something! Something about… something about computer games!

-Yeah? - Brian mumbled. - I said that it looked like a spot in a videogame that didn’t render properly.

-Yes! Brilliant! You’re a very smart kid! - The Doctor beamed, and ruffled Brian’s long hair. - You should play more videogames. Rose! - He turned towards her and grabbed her hand again.

-What? - She couldn’t help but smile back.

-Everything’s gonna be fine. - He said. - Let’s go.

-Where?! - She stared at him, wide-eyed.

-There. - He pointed at the distortion. - Now.

-Seriously?

-Do you trust me? - He smiled.

-Yes. - She breathed out.

-Follow me, then.

And she did.

The Doctor yelling “Don’t follow us!” over her shoulder was the last thing she heard. She didn’t want to go. In fact, everything inside of her was screaming for her to stop… but that wasn’t who she was. Not anymore.

Rose squeezed the Doctor’s hand tighter, closed her eyes, and, together with him, stepped through the edge of the bubble.


	9. 8

# [8]

Stepping inside the distortion felt like plunging head-first into ice-cold water. It wasn’t just one step; instead, they had to keep pushing their way through it, unable to see, hear, or even breathe. They finally broke free just as Rose was thinking that she was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen. One final push, and the foggy trap was gone.

Rose gasped, gulping in warm air, then doubled over coughing. The Doctor dropped to his knees in front of her. He was panting too, but he wasn’t nearly as distressed.

-Are you okay? - He asked, and helped her up.

-In theory. - Rose muttered.

She would add this to her long list of “experiences I don’t wish to ever repeat,” right after bungee-jumping and playing chess against the Doctor.

-Where are we? - She asked.

It had taken her eyes some time to adjust to the sudden brightness, and she was now noticing the world around her for the first time. The world, or, rather, its absence. All around her, as far as she could see, was nothing but bright white light. They stood in the middle of a completely blank space.

-Inside the system. - The Doctor explained - explaining nothing.

-Did you know we would be fine?

-I hoped. - He shrugged. - We didn’t have a better option anyway.

-Typical. - Rose shook her head. - Wait… what do you mean, inside the system? Which system?

-Computer system! - The Doctor explained, as if that greatly simplified things. - We’re inside of a computer.

-Huh?

-Like that boy said! - He beamed. - Video game. - And he gestured around himself.

-We’re inside of a video game. - Rose repeated flatly.

She wasn’t sure whether he was pulling her leg or not.

-Not literally a video game. - He responded. - A simulation of some sort. A whole, complex, huge, gorgeous simulated Universe. Am I right?

A few seconds’ delay, and Rose realized who that last remark was addressed to. Up above her head, a window appeared. It hung in the air for a while, then slowly readjusted itself to be at their eye level. It flickered black, then blue, then green, before revealing at last… the face of a middle-aged woman.

-Hello. - The Doctor greeted, smiling and waving his hand. - Patching in through the interface camera, I see.

-Yes, I know why _I_ am here. - The woman replied in English. - The more pertinent question is how come _you_ are here.

-Hi. - Rose greeted, still confused, but eager to keep up. - We stepped through that distortion of yours.

-You what? - The woman frowned. - You wouldn’t have survived! I’ve done the math. I’ve been dealing with that thing all morning!

-We wouldn’t have made it if we were a part of the simulation. - The Doctor agreed. - But we’re not. Tell you what, I’ve got no bloody idea how we ended up here, but that’s okay. I love not knowing things. Makes my life more interesting.

-It’s not very interesting for them. - Rose pointed out. - We’ve left people over there. - She said. – Actual, living people! You have to help them, - she continued, shakily but with full conviction, - or they’re all gonna die.

-I’ve already paused the simulation. - The woman explained. - And I’m doing everything I can to repair the broken code.

-But it’s not working. - The Doctor guessed.

-It’s not. - She agreed.

Rose frowned, feeling a jolt of sympathy for the woman. She looked exhausted, and scared. Almost the edge of tears, but still holding herself together – because she had to.

-What is your name? - The Doctor asked.

-Frances. - She told him. - Frances McKinnon.

-Nice to meet you, Frances McKinnon. I’m the Doctor, and this is Rose. Tell me, is this, - he made a broad gesture with his hand, - your own project?

-Yes. - She confirmed. - I wrote the initial code from scratch and I’ve been managing it pretty much on my own. It’s been going for over thirty years.

-Oh, that’s _very_ impressive. - The Doctor told her.

-I didn’t intend for it to last this long. - She explained. - I just wanted to see if it was possible. But then…

-The people. - The Doctor guessed.

-So many of them! - Frances nodded. - I’ve got twenty trillion conscious beings here now. How could I ever pull the plug on them?

-Twenty trillion?! - Rose repeated. - But that’s way too many.

-There’re seven billion humans. - The Doctor said. - But humans aren’t the only conscious beings. Not even on your planet.

-Right. - She sighed, still rather dizzy. - Okay. Twenty trillion then. - She paused. - But that’s horrible! They’re people, but they aren’t real?

-They’re as real as you and me! - The Doctor responded. - Just because they’re made of zeros and ones instead of quarks and leptons doesn’t make them any less real than us material beings. Should’ve guessed from the start though. - He shook his head. - Six thousand years? _Those_ constants? Angels and demons? I’m definitely getting old.

-But that’s… - Rose was still trying to process the reveal. - She created them!

-Billions of religious people would be appalled to discover they _weren’t_ created by an intelligent being. - The Doctor mused. - Besides, this is not a rare situation at all. - He added breezily. - Mathematically, it is much more likely that you and I live in a simulation as well.

-Whatever. - Rose muttered. She was now over being shocked and prepared to accept literally anything. - Can you fix this thing, though?

-Oh, I’ll certainly try! - The Doctor told her, buzzing with energy and enthusiasm. - Frances?

-Yes?

-Can you give me access to the underlying code?

-What, the raw numbers? - She asked. - All of it?

-Yes, please.

-But there’s no way a human brain can deal with so much data. - She said, her camera image turning fuzzy for a second. - I never work with the raw code.

-Good thing I’m not a human, then. - The Doctor beamed. - Go on. Do you want the help or not?

Frances sighed, but complied. Her image flickered, and the window moved sideways and minimized into half its original size. A black blotch that started to rapidly fill with words and numbers appeared next to her image instead.

-Some interface, maybe? - The Doctor requested.

And soon a keyboard popped out of thin air in front of him.

-Alright then. - He sat down on the floor, put the keyboard on his lap and cracked his knuckles. - Let’s see what I can do.

*

While the Doctor and Frances worked together on the fix, Rose wandered the blank space aimlessly. It seemed tiny and infinite at the same time; no matter how far she went, she always ended up right where she started. And it didn’t do much for calming her thoughts.

Rose had spent a long time traveling with the Doctor. She didn’t know _how_ long, exactly. She’d lost count after two years or so, and she no longer even knew how old she was. She didn’t remember what her life was like _before_. That old world, full of work and chips and going out for drinks with friends and watching TV on the sofa in the evening – it seemed like a dream. Like it was a mere prologue to her story, a blurry black-and-white picture, fading away in her mind.

Her new normal was _this_. This… wild ride of experiences and emotions, always jumping from one place to another, never staying anywhere for long enough to get attached. She got used to it, too. Not to the adventures – you could never get used to _that_ – but to the lifestyle. To the mindset. Like him, she no longer saw these situations as something out of the ordinary. This was just her life now!

Those kids… why didn’t they tell them to go home? She didn’t even think, didn’t even stop to consider that those were real people who did not consent to be in danger basically 24/7. They hadn’t asked them whether they were ready to risk their lives, however much excitement it brought.

On the other hand… had he ever asked _her_? Did she really, truly agree? She hadn’t known what she was signing up for either – but it was too late to go back now. Rose was no longer that girl who worked in a shop. She was so much more like him now, and she wasn’t sure whether that was wonderful or scary. (Or maybe both.)

That was enough to keep her thinking for days, but now on top of the personal crisis, she had an existential crisis to deal with. Rose was no novice in the universe of highly ridiculous things. She had learned to keep an open mind. Not so open that your brains fall out, mind you - but she was ready to accept many strange and impossible things. Most things, actually… but this?

Was the Doctor serious? Was it mathematically more probable that her own world was nothing more than a collection of numbers and dots? And did it matter? She felt real… so did she actually care what she was made of, atoms or bits and bytes?

She winced, and rubbed her forehead. It was better not to think about it too intensely.

-Almost there…

She turned around, and found herself much closer to the Doctor than she’d thought she was. This place was messing with her mind.

The Doctor was typing at the speed of light, his eyes focused on the wall of text in front of him. She sat down near him and peered at the window. She had learned a great many things in the last few years, including some basic coding - but this made absolutely no sense to her.

-Is it working? - Rose asked.

-We won’t know ‘til she unpauses the simulation. - He responded. - But it should work. It has to work.

Ten more minutes (or possibly ten hours - time didn’t feel normal up here) of vigorous typing, and they were ready to test it.

-If the code is wrong… - Frances began, but the Doctor shushed her.

-On the count of three. - He said, and, placing his index finger above the enter key, closed his eyes. - One, two…

-Three. - Rose said for him.

He pressed the key. Nothing happened.

-I’m uploading the view. - Frances said, and chewed on her short fingernail. - Please… - She mumbled.

The pause dragged on for way too long.

-Yes! - Frances exclaimed, grinning wildly at the screen. - It worked! No more distortion.

-Woo! - Rose cheered and clapped. - Great job! You too, Doctor. - She smiled cheekily.

The Doctor considered a witty reply, then came up with a different strategy, and kissed her on the lips.

-You win. - She muttered, rather flustered all of a sudden.

-Right! - The Doctor jumped to his feet, dropping the keyboard, which disappeared before it hit the floor. - That’s dealt with. Now… do you have any idea how we ended up here?

-Not a clue. - Frances admitted. - Maybe try leaving the same way you came in.

-That seems like a good idea. - He nodded. - Can you let us out, then?

-Preferably without the wall of no breathing. - Rose added.

-Sure. - Frances confirmed, and began to type.

-One last thing. - The Doctor said.

-Yes?

-While you still have the base code open, - he began, - could you maybe tweak one thing. There’s this boy called Adam, and…

-No. - Frances interrupted him. - No, I can’t. I never tweak things. I only observe.

-Okay. - The Doctor exchanged looks with Rose. - Fair enough.

-He will be okay, though. - Frances added. - I’ve checked the model predictions. He will recover.

-Good. - The Doctor said. - We’ll be on our way, then. Come on, Rose. And bye, Frances! Good luck with your work. Take care of this world!

-I will! - Frances assured him. - Thank you! Thank you so much.

-Oh, it was mostly you. - The Doctor replied.

He took Rose’s hand and turned towards a door that appeared in front of them.

-This is so mad. - Rose whispered.

-I know, right? - He beamed.

And they walked through the doorway and back into Tadfield - where the wind had settled, the air was warm again, and the distortion was gone.


	10. 9

# [9]

-Well, that was quick. - Crowley remarked, and the kids nodded in agreement.

-Quick!? - Rose frowned.

-She paused it, remember? - The Doctor whispered to her. - Alright! - He smiled, and looked around. - Job done!

-The hell did you do? - Brian asked.

-Does it matter, really? - The Doctor shrugged.

-Yes! - Brian and Pepper yelled in unison.

-It’s gone. - Rose interrupted. - Look. - She extended her arms, pointing in all directions - at the warm air, the clear sky, and the total absence of reality-eating anomalies. - Apocalypse averted. We can all go home.

-Oh. - Pepper seemed disappointed. - I thought I’d get a chance to, you know, be heroic.

-You were very brave. - The Doctor assured, but she ignored him.

-You promised to support your friend through difficult times and helped him out when he was in crisis. - Rose added. - That’s very brave, and very kind.

-Really? - Pepper said, and took off her warm hat to reveal a head full of wildly curly hair.

-Of course. - Rose smiled at her.

Then, after considering it for a few moments, she approached the girl and kissed her on the cheek.

\- Did you see that!? - Pepper whispered in a high-pitched voice after Rose returned to her previous spot.

-Yeah. - Brian gave her a smug smile. - High-key respect. - And he shook her hand.

They parted ways at the entrance to the Device Estate. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the village was coming alive. No one knew quite when he’d appeared, but Dog was back at his master’s side, following him everywhere and barking at birds and squirrels.

-Thanks for, uh, whatever that was. - Wensleydale said, and the rest of the Them joined in on the gratitude.

-Thanks for the amazing spooky blog material. - Brian beamed, clutching his trusty camera.

-Ah. - The Doctor said. - About that…

-Oh, come on. - Rose elbowed him in his side. - They have fragmented footage of what looks like a weird weather anomaly. Let them have their fun.

The Doctor wanted to protest, but budged under the joint assault of five people making puppy eyes at him.

-Fine. - He muttered, and Pepper punched the air. - But don’t say anything specific!

-You haven’t told us anything specific. - Pepper pointed out. - And everyone will say it was fake anyway, so whatever. See ya! - And, before turning around, she sent an air kiss to Rose, who smiled back.

-The kids are alright. - Crowley smiled. - He’ll be okay.

-He will. - The Doctor agreed.

They watched the figures of the Them grow smaller as they walked away, talking and laughing and savoring the simple joy of being alive.

-This is very touching indeed, - Aziraphale said, slowly unwrapping his last layer of scarves, - but could we proceed to breakfast already?

-Oh, you… - Crowley began, but stopped. - I love you. - He said, the words escaping his lips with no hesitation. He’d said those words so many times… but he always meant it.

-I love you, too. - Aziraphale murmured, and Rose felt like she was intruding on a very tender moment.

Apparently, so did the Doctor, ‘cause he had already sonicked the door open and was walking towards the house. She had to run to catch up with them.

-Are you gonna tell them? - She asked, once they were out of range of Crowley and Aziraphale’s hearing.

-Yes. - He replied, speaking softly. - But I doubt it will change anything. - He added.

Rose looked back to where Crowley and Aziraphale still stood, holding each other’s hands, momentarily overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of their affection. Not talking, not kissing, just… being there, with each other.

-Agreed. - Rose nodded.

And they kept on walking.

*

Newt was remarkably unmoved by the events of the last few days. He listened to the summary, said “nice,” then retreated to the kitchen where he sang along to Billie Eilish while cooking breakfast.

-He’s so… chill. - Rose pointed out, taking a seat at the dining room table.

-Being married to a witch does that to you, I guess. - The Doctor shrugged.

They sat outside on the terrace afterward, drinking tea and coffee, and appreciating the sudden change in weather.

-Newt? - Crowley asked.

-Yeah?

-Has it been raining a lot lately?

-It has. - The man frowned. - Much more than usual.

-Quite right. - Crowley nodded. - You might have some bad weather here in Tadfield in the next few months. Try not to complain about it. It will get better eventually.

-That’s generally how weather works. - Newt was still frowning. - Wait. - He paused. - Is this something to do with Adam?

-Be kind to the boy. - Aziraphale spoke up.

-When am I ever not kind to kids? - Newt chuckled. - Why would _anyone_ be not kind to kids?

Aziraphale smiled.

-Of course. - He paused, staring into the distance. - You’ll make a great dad. - He said.

-You too. - Newt blurted out without thinking. - I mean, uhhh…

-I think I will. - Aziraphale replied.

And Newt didn’t find anything appropriate to say.

-I am never wrong. - The Doctor said, approaching Crowley. - And when I am, I never admit it.

-Sounds familiar. - Crowley chuckled.

-But I will admit it on this occasion. - The Doctor continued. - I was wrong on your account. You’re not a bad person.

-Thanks. - Crowley smiled. - Not sure whether I should take that as an insult or a compliment, but thanks for making an exception for me - ‘cause I _am_ exceptional. And thanks for saving the world as well.

-Don’t mention it. - He dismissed. - Can I talk to you, though? You and your husband. Somewhere… not here.

-Okay. - Crowley agreed, feeling a twitch of anxiety somewhere low in his stomach.

The angel and the demon listened quietly while the Time Lord told them the truth about their world. Their expressions didn’t change, and nothing indicated what they were feeling. Crowley was the first to speak up at the end.

-Well, I always suspected you were too good to be true. - He chuckled nervously, looking at Aziraphale.

The reveal didn’t bother him in the slightest - but he was afraid of how the angel might react to the news.

-I always suspected that chocolate souffle was too good to be true. - Aziraphale joked, then looked tenderly at Crowley. - And yes, I wondered often whether I dreamt you, my dear.

-Maybe we both dreamt each other. - Crowley gave him a soft smile.

-This doesn’t change anything. - Aziraphale said, stroking the top of Crowley’s palm with the tips of his fingers. - The world is still filled with thinking, feeling people - people in pain. People that require help. I am still needed. And loved. I can make this world a better place. How it was created is secondary.

-I don’t care, either. - Crowley said. - All I need is wine, entertainment, and an ability to annoy people. Who cares whether we’re physical or digital.

The Doctor smiled. There was something special about these two. Something more than just looks full of meaning and affectionate gestures - gazes locked, fingers entwined, catching each other’s every word. They changed in each other’s presence. Came to life. As if they couldn’t exist without another. As if they were two parts of the same person, separated a long time ago, yearning to be together again. Whatever they did together, the love was there, in plain sight, seeping through their every word, their every move. The Doctor didn’t believe in soulmates… but he was, perhaps, willing to make an exception on their account.

He thought about Rose. Was this what other people saw when they looked at them? Was it obvious? Did she know? He was sure she knew. Every day, he would wake up thinking about her, and he would fall asleep thinking about her. She was there, at the front of his mind, always. Like a beacon – bright, unwavering, constant. He didn’t remember ever loving someone more than he loved her. He didn’t say it out loud, sure… but how could _anyone_ not notice it?

He knew it _did_ need saying. Of course he did. There were moments – so many of them – when those words were right on the tip of his tongue, ready to slip out… and every time, he would stop himself. Like a little boy, still scared of what would happen next. Afraid that, if he were to admit that it was real, the sheer power of his feeling would overwhelm him completely.

He knew how this story would end one day. He knew that he would lose her. Could he survive that? Perhaps not, but could he survive not saying those words any longer? Was it time? To admit it once and for all, and dive in, not knowing whether he was going to make it – and if she was going to be the death of him, well… that was a hell of a way to go.

He would say it, then. Soon. Very soon. Because the clocks kept ticking, and one day it would be too late. He had so much time and he would give it all to her, if only he could. He might have been a Lord of Time, but he was not a god. He could not fix all the unfairness in the universe… all he could do was live his life as best as he could.

-Your creator, - the Doctor told them, returning his focus to the present moment - she cares about all of you very much, and she will keep this world safe.

-I already knew that. - Aziraphale smiled. - Now, you and your companion would like to return back to your own world, I’m guessing.

-Yes. - The Doctor agreed.

-Then allow us to give you a lift back to London. - Crowley said.

The Doctor smiled.

-Deal.

*

The Doctor hated goodbyes, and Rose hated goodbyes with him, out of solidarity. They both sat in the car while Crowley and Aziraphale wished Newt all the best, and they almost managed to slip out unnoticed after they arrived to London. They were, however, busted by Crowley. He insisted on shaking the Doctor’s hand and giving Rose a hug.

-He will say it one day. - Crowley whispered to her. - You will get there. And it will have been worth it.

-I live in hope. - She smiled. - Alright. See ya.

-See ya. - Crowley repeated.

They all knew they would never see each other ever again.

The TARDIS was waiting for them exactly where they left her, next to King’s Cross underground station. The Doctor patted the box affectionately before opening the door.

-Good old TARDIS. - He said, turning the key. - Way better than a vintage Bentley.

-Sure. - Rose giggled, and stepped over the threshold after him.

-I could drive a Bentley if I wanted to. - The Doctor took off his coat and threw it sideways. It landed perfectly on one of the railings. - I used to drive a normal car, actually. Her name was Bessy.

-We still have no idea how we ended up in this universe. - Rose said.

-No. - He agreed. - But let’s just hope we can exit the same way we entered. Ready? - He beamed.

-Always. - She smiled back.

And put her palm on top of his hand as he pushed down the main engine leaver.


	11. 10

# [10]

-What about this one? - Wensleydale asked, showing a picture on his smartphone to Adam.

-Why are you showing me their photos? - He chuckled, stuffing his mouth with Cheetos. - I don’t care what they look like. Show me their education and experience or whatever.

-Dr. Jane Montgomery. - Wensleydale read out loud. - Graduated from Oxford in 2023 with a Master’s degree in clinical psychology. Specializes in mood disorders in children and adolescents. LGBT+ friendly.

-She will do. - Pepper said, and looked over Wensleydale’s shoulder to check out the picture. - Oh, she will _definitely_ do.

-This is “best therapists online,” Pepper. - Wensleydale shook his head. - Not Tinder.

-Is she not too young for a therapist? - Brian asked, battling with sound editing their footage.

-Young is good. - Pepper replied. - She’s not tired and burned out yet, she’s probably up to date on science, and maybe still remembers what it was like to be a teenager.

-Yes. - Adam nodded thoughtfully. - I think she will do.

-I’ll book your first appointment. - Wensleydale said, and began to type on the touchscreen.

-We can ride to the place together. - Pepper mused. - Hang out outside while we wait for you. Then go for fish and chips.

-Sounds good. - Adam said, and tried to smile. It turned out a little weak, but it made him feel better.

He was not okay now… but he would be okay. And they would be here for him no matter what.

*

-You’re late. - Newt commented, and took his wife’s coat.

-Emergency meeting. - She was happy to complain to someone who listened, and understood, and empathized. - I am so tired of Johnson and his bullshit. How the hell did he get promoted in the first place? The boss must be sleeping with him.

-They will notice you. - Newt said, full confidence in his voice. - How can they not? You’re brilliant. - He smiled warmly at her.

Anathema smiled back and kissed him on the lips.

-If only all men were as wonderful as you are. - She said, and followed him into the kitchen.

They ate dinner outside, listening to the chirping birds and watching the early minutes of the sunset. Anathema told him about her day, and Newt explained what had happened after she left. The world was no longer scary; they had each other, they were home, and safe, and _content_.

-It’s the middle of my cycle. - Anathema said when they were collecting the plates. - High probability of conception.

-What a sexy phrase. - Newt chuckled. - High probability of conception. - He repeated in an attempt at a seductive voice.

-Shut up. - Anathema laughed. - It’s going to work eventually, right? -

-Of course. - Newt nodded.

-It’s just we’ve been trying for a while, and…

-Hey. - He interrupted her. - It will work. And if it doesn’t, there’s science. And if science won’t work, we can adopt a baby, and it will be ours, and we will love it.

-Yeah. - Anathema agreed. - Yes. Sorry.

Life was still complex, and stressful, and unpredictable… but at least they had each other.

*

-Oh, you’re here.

Aziraphale looked over his shoulder. Crowley stood at the threshold of the study, a tote bag hanging on each of his shoulders.

-I needed to consult the World Wide Web. - Aziraphale explained.

-It’s called the Internet. - Crowley smiled with a corner of his mouth and put the bags down.

He approached Aziraphale, hugged him from behind, and placed a tender kiss on his neck.

-I missed you.

-You went grocery shopping. You’ve been gone less than an hour.

-That’s enough to start missing you. - He replied. - I start missing you as soon as I step out of the house.

-One time I started missing you when I went to the kitchen to make tea. - Aziraphale confessed.

He made room on the armchair to let Crowley squeeze himself into the seat. It was still too tight. Crowley shrugged and decided to sit in Aziraphale’s lap instead.

-What were you searching for? - Crowley asked.

He took over the mouse, opened the Internet Explorer browser, and looked through the tabs: “how do I start a charity?,” “adopting a child in the UK as a gay couple,” and “cottages for sale suburban London area.”

-Your googling skills are improving. - Crowley commented. - You stopped using please and thank you.

-What do you think? - Aziraphale asked, pointing at the tabs.

-Love it. - Crowley smiled.

-Even the charity idea?

-What, you’re telling me I can annoy people and make them feel bad for not donating money and not caring enough? - Crowley asked. - Sign me the fuck up.

-And a baby?

-We’ll ruin the first one. - Crowley shrugged. - For sure. But everyone does that, right?

-And moving out of London?

-The only reason I moved to London is to be closer to you. - Crowley replied. - I’d follow you to the other side of the universe and to the depths of Hell.

-I love you. - Aziraphale said.

He said it again and again - like a prayer, like a mantra, like a magic spell. He would continue to repeat it for the rest of his life, and, perhaps, one day, it would make up for all the times he could have said it, but didn’t.

-I love you too. - Crowley replied, and he meant it.

He always meant it. The day would never come when he wouldn’t mean it.

The research took them all day and half the night. They talked, and dreamed, and argued, and made up again afterward. They took breaks for tea and kisses, and, after a long while, arrived at a plan. A plan for an adventure they would share - a brand new life.


	12. epilogue

# [epilogue]

Rose Tyler opened her eyes, then closed them again. The room was dark, and warm, and quiet, apart from one sound - slow, steady breathing nearby. She let the information from her other senses reach her consciousness, one by one. She was in bed. She still had at least half of the blanket to herself. She was only wearing the upper part of her pajama set. With her left hand, she could feel the smooth surface of the bedsheets. With her right…

-Hey. - She muttered, and decided to open her eyes after all.

She turned sideways to look at him, and he turned sideways to look at her.

-Hey. – The Doctor repeated, and smiled at her, making her chest and stomach ache with love.

-What have… - She began, but stopped. - Huh?

-You didn’t dream it. - He replied to a question she didn’t ask. - Well, you did, but it wasn’t just in your mind. I was there too.

-Wait. - She sat up in bed, and the Doctor did too. - We…

-Yes…

-We fixed that anomaly thing. - Rose said. - Came back to London. Found the TARDIS. You took off. And then…

-We woke up. - The Doctor nodded. - That was just a few minutes ago. Relative time.

-I’m confused. - Rose confessed.

-Not surprising. - The Doctor laughed, and kissed her forehead. - Come on. - He said, and jumped out of bed.

-Where? - Rose asked.

-To the console room. Go on. - He looked around the room and located the rest of his clothes. - You’ll remember when you see it.

-You could just tell me, you know. - Rose complained.

It took all of her willpower to leave the bed, find the lower half of her pajamas, and follow him outside into the cold corridor.

The console room looked perfectly normal, and no matter how hard she tried, Rose couldn’t remember anything.

-Look. - The Doctor said, approaching the console.

He pointed his finger at something - a tiny box plugged into the console. It appeared to be made from silver, and glowed blue in the semi-darkness.

-The thing. - Rose said, blinking.

-The dream weaver. - The Doctor prompted.

And the memories came flooding back.

They’d bought the thing the day beforeat a galactic techno scrap fair. “It allows you to program your dreams,” the Doctor had explained then, “through a transmitted electromagnetic signal.” She hadn’t believed him, but he’d bought it anyway. Then, as they were preparing to go to bed, she’d uncovered the tiny object at the bottom of her backpack. “I wanna try it,” she said, and the Doctor had suggested connecting it to the TARDIS telepathic circuit - just to see what would happen. “Are you sure it is safe?” she had asked him. “Would that make a difference?” he had replied. So they did. And went to bed. And fell asleep together… eventually. And then…

-So it was a shared dream? - Rose asked, still thoroughly confused.

-No, - he shook his head, - it was a temporary consciousness transfer facilitated by the dream weaver technology.

-But how?

-The TARDIS did something. - He shrugged, and typed on the keyboard. - Ooh, we’ve moved. We are currently parked behind the Augmented and Artificial Spaces Institute on Bellina, in 4503. - He typed some more, and opened the Institute’s web page. - Vice-director - Frances McKinnon.

-It _was_ real. - Rose realized, looking over his shoulder as he explored Professor McKinnon’s portfolio page. - And it’s her extracurricular pet project? - She muttered, squinting at the screen.

-Seems like it. - He confirmed. - It says here that she’s a devout Christian. I guess she wanted to honor her religion in this way.

-But is that even ethical? - Rose asked.

-Depends on what you consider to be ethical. - Was the reply.

-Ugh. - She sat down on the nearest seat. - This is too much for my brain. Can we have coffee first?

-Sure. - He smiled. - I can carry you to the kitchen… if you want.

And on this occasion, she didn’t mind.

*

Rose sipped her coffee very carefully, focusing on the bitter taste, the rich smell, and the warmth of the cup against her fingers. Was this real? It certainly felt real… but so did the coffee she’d had at the Device house.

-You okay? - The Doctor asked.

He had already finished his tea, and was now slowly going through the tin of lemon cream biscuits.

-More or less. - She sighed. - What you said… about it being more likely, mathematically or statistically or whatever, that our world is a simulation too… Is that true?

-Yes. - He replied calmly. - But it’s just a probability, not a fact.

He paused, studying her face, a faint smile lingering on his lips.

-Would that make a difference to you, if our world was a simulation too?

-Yes. - She said, then frowned. - I think.

-What would change?

-Oh, I don’t know. - She groaned, and rubbed her eyes with the fingers of her free hand. - This is too complicated and I don’t have enough caffeine in my blood. Like… - She paused, taking a sip of her cappuccino. - She said, Frances, I mean, she said that she ran the numbers and that Adam would be okay. But how did she do that? How can she predict the future like that? Don’t they have free will?

- _Well_. - The Doctor began, staring at the ceiling. - They do, but also, they don’t. As in, they definitely _feel_ like they have free will…

-That’s not enough…

-But so do we. - He looked at her. - Technically. Mathematically. _Philosophically_ … our will isn’t really free. Cause always precedes effect. Every decision you make depends on various factors. Your genes. Your upbringing. Your current environment. Random biochemical fluctuations in your brain. We have will, - he explained casually, - as in, we can make choices, but it’s not truly _free_.

-But… - Rose frowned, and waved her left hand in the air. - That goes against everything you believe in! What about responsibility? What about always giving everyone a choice?

-Just because the will isn’t free doesn’t mean you can’t influence it. - He shrugged. - I can’t save everyone. I can’t make decisions that are perfect in every way and consider everyone’s rights. If a person’s actions threaten other people’s lives, sometimes I can’t help but put someone’s safety first, even though it is not the attacker’s fault. Not really. I don’t hate them. - He said. - I understand. I always… well, I try to, at least. - He paused, making eye contact with her again. - I try to remember that my feelings and my morality and my compassion are not really my accomplishments, and that someone else’s evil isn’t really their fault.

-But you still act as if free will is a thing. - Rose was still confused.

-’Cause you can’t help it. - He replied. - No one can. The illusion is too strong. And it’s okay, I think, to act as if it is real. It is okay, sometimes, to know something rationally, but to believe something else emotionally - if it brings you peace and happiness, and if it makes the world a better place. - He paused again, and smiled. - I choose to believe that people do have a choice. Always. I refuse to accept fate completely.

-Okay. - Rose nodded.

That made some sense, but it was still messing with her brain.

-How did they react? - She asked, and finished the last sip of her coffee. - Crowley and Aziraphale. How did they react to… that?

-Well. - The Doctor told her. - They have a purpose in life. I think. And they have each other.

-I kinda feel sorry for them though.

-Why? - He raised an eyebrow.

-Well. - She began, then stopped. - I don’t know. I feel like, if I found out that my world was created by someone, it would make it less special.

-”Special” is a matter of opinion. - The Doctor disagreed. - Things are only as valuable as you make them to be. Take gold, for example. - He said. - There’s nothing special about gold! It’s an interesting element, sure, and it used to be pretty rare on Earth, but it didn’t have any exceptional properties when you decided to make it the holder of value. You just went “oh, this rock is nice and shiny and beautiful, guess it’s better than all the other rocks.” And it was the synonym of value for ages, - he continued, and picked up another biscuit, - until in the twenty-second century one girl sat down in her lab and figured out how to turn mercury into gold for pennies. And then, _whoosh_ , - he made a weird gesture with his hands, - gold became cheaper than aluminum! Instantly devalued!

-And the alchemists couldn’t figure it out for hundreds of years. - Rose chuckled. - Guess they should have let girls in on the fun.

-Point is, - the Doctor interrupted, - value is arbitrary. Also, availability determines value. That’s why time is so precious.

-Why?

-’Cause it’s limited.

He looked at her, eyes full of sorrow and affection and _feeling_ , and Rose felt a sudden jab of pain somewhere deep in her soul. Her life was so short compared to his… she will break his heart, eventually. But it was too late to go back now. All stories end, and no ending can be truly happy. All you can do is enjoy the story while it lasts.

-Would _you_ care? - She whispered, unable to take her eyes off of him. - If this world wasn’t real?

-No. - He smiled softly. - I don’t think it matters, really. If it feels real, it is real.

-What feels real? - She asked, and he smiled again.

He put his palm on her cheek and brushed her skin with his fingers. Rose held her breath; was that it? Was he about to say it?

-I… - He said, and three hearts for the two of them sped up to their maximum capacity.

-Yeah? - She prompted, putting her hand on top of his.

-Oh, you know. - He gave up, and Rose shook her head, smiling.

He would get there, eventually - and she would not hurry him.

They sat in the kitchen for a while - not talking, not really doing anything - just being there.

-Do you want to go visit Frances in her computer lab? - The Doctor asked.

-Maybe. - Rose replied, and picked up her phone from the table. - Oh. - She said. - My mum has been texting me non-stop since a few days ago. She has a surprise for me, apparently. Wants me to meet someone.

-Hope she isn’t trying to set you up with a son of a friend. - The Doctor joked.

-Tell her I’m not available, then. - Rose teased, a cheeky smile on her lips.

-I’d rather battle a whole army of Daleks. - The Doctor replied. - Tell her yourself!

-Maybe I will! - She said, and got up from the couch. - Come on then. Let’s visit. I can give her that weather-predicting thing we just bought.

-Do we have to? - He whined.

-One evening. - Rose told him. - And then we can be on our own again.

-Okay. - He agreed begrudgingly, and got up as well. - But only for one evening.

-One evening. - She confirmed.

He stepped closer to her, and put his hand on her waist. They kissed, and the kiss lingered.

-If someone created this world, - Rose said when they broke apart for a moment, - well, - she looked up, - thanks.

And she had a lot to be thankful for. The world wasn’t ending. They were together, whatever that entailed, really. They had the TARDIS, and adventures, and their whole life ahead of them. One evening back on Earth, and then they’d be back to traveling the stars.

The Doctor had no reason to be miffed. It was just her mum’s flat after all, not a parallel dimension constructed on a computer hard drive.

What on Earth could _possibly_ happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends! If you have enjoyed this work, please consider supporting it by leaving kudos and comments and sharing it on social media!

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the Good Omens Big Bang 2019: goodomensbigbang.tumblr.com  
> I have collaborated with the wonderful katherine1753, whose art can be found on tumblr (katherine1753.tumblr.com) or on twitter (twitter.com/katherine1753)  
> This fic has been proofread (and significantly improved) by an excellent beta reader Brynncognito (can be found here or on tumblr at azcrowleyfell.tumblr.com).  
> And you can find me on tumblr at bootstrapparadoxed.tumblr.com


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